


Miso Soup and the Taste of Your Love

by pokimunchies



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Domestic Fluff, Drama & Romance, Light Angst, M/M, lots of kisses, miso soup au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-01-15 23:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pokimunchies/pseuds/pokimunchies
Summary: Yuto and Ryosuke are both actors in their mid 20's.They've found each other after a long, onerous way. Love is spurting, walls after walls that set them apart are demolished.But is there a way to be together, forever, in a world like this?Because the taste of love is not forever luscious and sweet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuto dreams of something that keeps him awake and urges him to overthink. But somehow, Ryosuke knows how to calm him down.  
> The smell of love fills the air, and Yuto plunges to taste it.

 

 

 

_"All I know is, when I wake up the next day, my heart hasn't moved even a millimetre inch from you."_

 

The sun is still in its deep sleep, as it's only 4 in the morning. Yet someone is awake, gazing at the ceiling above him and immersing himself in his own thoughts. His sight focuses on the “stars” that adorn the “sky” above him.

The man is Yuto Nakajima, 24 years old, a successful young actor and model. He stares deep at the ceiling, as if hearing it calling out for him. His eyes wide open and his mind is running endlessly.

The "stars" are glistening on the surface of the ceiling; piece of his boyfriend's work when he had his day off and was bored at home. He is Yamada Ryosuke, 24 years old, older than Yuto by a few months, also a successful young actor whose name and face have been on almost every cover of entertainment magazine you can find.

As a little information, Ryosuke has a fear of height and darkness, but one day he climbed onto the ladder and put up the “stars” made from sparkling decorative paper on the ceilings. When the night comes and grows into darkness, they would shine just like real stars. It's Ryosuke's idea so he can sleep without having to turn the lights on, because Yuto can't sleep well with lights on.

Yuto smiles, recalling how Ryosuke told him sweetly that one evening after he was back from work and showed him the “stars” he had created.

Yuto turns to the side where Ryosuke has his back facing him. He curls sweetly, hair sweeps over the side of his face and a part of his skin is exposed to the open air. Yuto inches closer and kisses the bare shoulder, then pulls the blanket over it. He wants to kiss more of him, but the thought strikes at him again.

 

_"Will we be together forever?"_

 

Yuto asks himself, imagining taking Ryosuke's hand and kisses him after vowing a lifetime promise. Everyone cheers as they see the two men tying the knot and utter their wishes together. Just like how his dream was. Ryosuke's face was glowing gently, flashing a soft smile. Their parents, Ryosuke's sisters, and his brother were smiling so wide. The music accompanied them in the background as they kissed in front of everyone in the room. It was a happy dream, almost too real to be a dream.

Dream can be reality. That's what Yuto believes, always. Being with Ryosuke was a dream before. After all the ups and downs, all tears and pleading, walls that were demolished and shattered, Ryosuke finally gave in and kissed Yuto back. Yuto remembers it freshly in his mind when his hands attempted to reach what they couldn't. When Ryosuke was running away from his own feelings. When they were broken apart and filled with agony, but their hearts finally found their way to each other at last.

Yuto recalls when Ryosuke came to his door one night and collapsed in his arms. He was soaking wet and crying like there was no tomorrow. That night, Ryosuke decided to stop running away. He presented Yuto his heart and his love, let Yuto kiss him like how he always wanted. Yuto embraced Ryosuke for what and who he was.

Yuto was the happiest man on earth that night.

 

_But what was that dream about?_

 

It's as if he is being reminded that the reality is harsher than how he always thinks. Even if they both love each other so much, is there a way to be together in a world like this?

Yuto tries to shut his eyes and forget what was pictured in his dream. The dream was beautiful, everyone was smiling. But when he saw the reflection of the people in the mirror, he saw something else. There was foul expression, some filled with grief, and he could read condemnation in the way they acted. He couldn't believe that even his brother, Raiya, had different expression than what he chose to show Yuto. He looked empty, as if having so much debate in his head about what was happening; that his older brother was marrying a man.

A warm hand rests on his arm, and Yuto realises Ryosuke is awake. A second later he feels Ryosuke's head on his chest and warm breath washes over his skin. Yuto feels like his worries suddenly fade away.

"You're up so early." Ryosuke mutters on his chest and snuggles closer.

"I can't sleep. You too, Yama-chan. Why?" Yuto looks down at how Ryosuke is snuggling onto him and his fingers are circling on his chest.

"I dreamt of something." Ryosuke gets up abruptly and sits on top of Yuto, making him jump at the sudden movement.

"What are you doing? W-what did you dream of?" Yuto gets up from his position, smiling so wide and wraps his arms around Ryosuke. He catches Ryosuke's lips and Ryosuke kisses him lazily in return.

"Are you sure you want to know about it?" Ryosuke asks Yuto again, moving a little on top of him and making Yuto get slightly aroused by the movement. He kisses Ryosuke teasingly, begs for an entrance.

"It's too early for this." Ryosuke tries to part from Yuto's eager lips and holds him still.

"You are the one trying to seduce me. Tell me, did you dream of something dirty?" Yuto laughs and leans back to observe his expression from a distance.

"I'm not you! Um... I will tell you. It's kind of funny." There is a slight pause before he continues on, "We were climbing up Mount Fuji. When we were halfway through it, you told me that you couldn't go on anymore. So, I carried you until we reached the top of the mountain. You're the worst, Yutti." Ryosuke pinches Yuto's cheeks when he finishes telling his story, earns a peck on the lips by Yuto who proceeds to laugh uncontrollably.

"What kind of dream is that? How the hell are you going to carry me up to the top of the mountain? There's no way you can do it!" Yuto continues laughing, not realising that Ryosuke is eyeing him.

He stops laughing eventually, then squeezes Ryosuke's hands in his.

"I know you can do it, though. You're a strong man."

There is no answer. Ryosuke hugs Yuto tightly, as if telling him that there's more to it. Something he can't bear to say.

_“Do you really think I’m that strong?”_

;

 

The season is changing and it's getting colder outside. But the ambience is nice and the air is fresh. Yuto and Ryosuke decide to go for a jog that early morning after failed attempt on getting back to sleep. Yuto keeps his distance closer to Ryosuke as they jog around the park, listening to some songs from each one side of the headset.

"Ah, such a great idea to jog. It's been a long time since the last time we did this, Yutti."

Yuto keeps his pace, answering Ryosuke after a while with a slight "yeah" before stopping.

"It's been a long time, indeed. Ah, wait. Let me check something." Yuto fishes out his phone from his pocket and checks his email.

"What's happened?" Ryosuke stops in his track and looks at Yuto curiously.

“Ah, nothing. I’m just re-checking my schedule. I’ll go for a photoshoot at 10.” Yuto turns his attention to Ryosuke who nods cutely. There, it feels like the world suddenly stops rotating. He can’t help but to kiss those pouty lips of Ryosuke’s. 

“What are you...” Ryosuke is blushing from Yuto’s act and punches him on the stomach as a form of revenge.

“What if people see us?” Ryosuke retorts, putting the headsets back on his ears.

“Why? What will happen if people see us?” Yuto snatches one side of the headsets and proceeds to continue his jog.

“Well... Don’t you think it’ll be troublesome?”

“Nah, it won’t.” Yuto squeezes Ryosuke’s hand, entwining his fingers with Ryosuke’s.

“And it’s only 4.30 a.m. now.” Yuto takes bigger steps and forces Ryosuke to keep up with him, and slowly they are getting breathless and tired. They decide to end the jog after a few more laps, filled with silence until they reach the entrance of Ryosuke’s apartment.

 

;

 

“Yutti, are you mad at me?” Ryosuke asks from the kitchen while taking out some things from the fridge to cook for breakfast.

“No. Why? For what matter?” Yuto answers, casually, sounding like he meant it.

“That... Well, that’s fine.”

Yuto comes out from the bathroom, hair all wet and dripping water on the floor. He drags his legs however, not minding how Ryosuke will nag at him for making a mess.

He hugs Ryosuke from behind while he is washing some vegetables in the sink, making him shudder when he feels the water dripping on his chest.

“Yutti, can you at least dry your hair first?”

Yuto hugs Ryosuke tighter instead, kissing the scent of Ryosuke’s hair.

“Ryosuke, will we be together forever?”

Ryosuke feels like his heart stops in his chest, hearing Yuto calling him with his first name. He knows what it means when Yuto does so. It means he is being serious, and Ryosuke senses anxiety starts creeping inside him.

“Why are you asking me that?” Ryosuke stops what he is doing and attempts to turn his body around.

“Nothing. It just comes up in my head. I know we will.”

Yuto lets go of Ryosuke, proceeds to lean his body on the kitchen counter. Ryosuke looks at Yuto in mix of confusion and uncertainty, and carry on with his cooking at last. His beautiful hands are handling and cutting the vegetables, stirring the ingredients inside a pot. It’s a scene Yuto always admires of Ryosuke. Not to mention that he admires everything about him.

Yamada Ryosuke who is known by many for his charm and killer smile, amiable personality and huge amount of talent. Who is he for Ryosuke? How does he get this lucky to have such beautiful human beside him?

The smell of miso soup flavours the atmosphere that morning, like the previous mornings Yuto had experienced. No hint of coldness in the air, only sweet and warm love shines out of Ryosuke and those beautiful eyes.

“Let’s eat.”

Yuto feels dizzy for a second, thinking of such blessing that sometimes suffocates him to absorb and taking him forever to understand. What should he do to pay back such delightful reward God has been giving him? He’s able to witness such beauty, a warm smile, and tender love. He can have the “cuddle size” Ryosuke in his arms every night and feels like his dream comes true all the time his lips crash with Ryosuke’s. He can make love to him and make a mess out of him. The same Yamada Ryosuke everyone strives to reach has been staying by his side this whole time.

Yuto leaps from his seat and leans his body across the table towards Ryosuke. Not even words he could mutter, so he just kisses Ryosuke like that’s the only thing he can do best.

“This miso soup tastes heavy.” Yuto says after kissing Ryosuke and attempts to tell him what he means by his comment.

Ryosuke frowns at what Yuto has done yet again. There are seriously too many kisses for a single morning, and it’s only a little past 7 a.m.

“You are seriously trying to transfer the taste through kissing?” Ryosuke blurts out and laughing his tears out, thinking just how much he wants to punch Yuto for being dork and sweet at the same time.

“I don’t think it tastes heavy though. Perhaps, you’re just bored of having miso soup every day? I’ll cook something else.” Ryosuke calms himself down after a while and manages to stop laughing.

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

Yuto smiles before making his way to approach Ryosuke. As he leans in to kiss him again, subtly, softly on the lips, he mutters, “It tastes heavy with your love.”

Ryosuke wonders what has he done all his life to deserve such gorgeous man who fancies making a mess out of him.

So, he can only follow Yuto’s lead, kissing him back like all his life depends on it.

 

; 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 of miso soup AU. XD  
> What do you think will happen next with this domestic couple of Yamada Ryosuke and Yuto Nakajima?
> 
> More events and characters will be revealed in the next chapter(s)! 
> 
> Remember, comments are always LOVED! 
> 
> See you soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryosuke's beloved dog, Momo-chan, falls sick and requires to visit a veterinarian in town.  
> The said doctor turns out to be someone Yuto used to know in the past.  
> They meet for a drink, and things turn a bit out of control.

 

 

_"Even the thoughts of leaving you hurt me."_

 

"I'm leaving now."

Yuto has rucksack clinging on his shoulder and a smile lingers on his face as he grasps Ryosuke's hand for one last time before leaving. Time flies when you're having fun, and five days have gone so fast, indeed. Yuto and Ryosuke had fun, but sadly it's that time of the week again for Yuto to move out.

They are engaged in a relationship which they can't share with the rest of the world, at least not yet. They need to get their head around certain, no, lots of things. Having Yuto coming over quite often could've caused some speculation already, but all the media knows up to now is that the two guys are best friends. Nothing particularly suspicious about it. Yuto and Ryosuke attempt to play safe as well, simply coming over to each other's house every week and spend time together on weekends. When they are free, of course.

Recently, Ryosuke has been busy with promotion for his new movie, while Yuto is kept occupied with his modelling activities. Still, Ryosuke doesn't forget their morning ritual to have some light chat and a bowl of miso soup before starting the day. Sometimes Yuto wonders where does Ryosuke get all those energy from, to get up early in the morning and prepare their breakfast, continue by vacuuming and cleaning the house, even doing laundry. Yuto can only admire Ryosuke and wake up every day feeling blessed for having such a perfect partner.

"When will you have sleepover again?" Ryosuke sends him a kind smile, and Yuto feels like his heart is melting, helplessly. He understands now; he always does, but now it has come clear to him why Ryosuke's fans are all over him. That smile is one winning smile no one will be able to resist.

Yuto leans in and plants a kiss on Ryosuke's temple. "Soon. You know I'll miss your miso soup a lot."

"Only my miso soup?"

A hand is on Ryosuke's cheek, caressing it. There's a feeling they can't comprehend at that time when such small touch ignites spark in their hearts.

"Do I really have to answer that? Isn't that obvious?"

Ryosuke shakes his head lightly.

"I love you." Yuto kisses Ryosuke again on the cheek, and there is a slight bounce when his lips touch Ryosuke's cheek, making him want to pinch those cutie cheeks of Ryosuke's. But he is so perplexed at that point that he only stares at them before Ryosuke mutters his reply.

"I love you too."

Shyly, and those cheeks begin to blush.

"Why are you so cute?? It's so unreal!" Yuto squeezes Ryosuke's cheeks at last. Such temptation he can never counter.

"Stop squeezing my cheeks! Just go already!"

Yuto giggles at how Ryosuke tries to get his hands off his cheeks while aiming at his leg to kick him.

"Momo-chan.... I'll miss you too!"

A small puppy walks in between Ryosuke's legs and starts to sniff Yuto's jeans. Seems like Ryosuke's dog – and his many other pets – has taken a liking in Yuto. Yuto brings the dog to his embrace and she licks Yuto's face all over, while Ryosuke is smiling from where he is standing.

"It's time for papa to leave, Momo-chan. We'll see him again next week..." Ryosuke mumbles almost unconsciously, the smile still painted on his face and Yuto looks up at him, seeing how his eyes are sparkling with what seems like mix of joy and sadness.

"Are you okay, Yama-chan?" Yuto gets up, and such a wide smile breaks Ryosuke from his train of thoughts. He shakes his head and retrieves Momo-chan from Yuto.

"Were you imagining something there? Your eyes were sparkling, you know." Yuto laughs and caresses Ryosuke's cheek again, and Ryosuke decides to kick him for real and orders him to leave before the corny conversation takes any longer. Yuto heads to the door at last and waves for one last time, blowing a kiss in the air.

Ryosuke returns the kiss when the door is finally closed and Yuto is out of sight. Yuto seriously fancies such cheesy romantic stuffs, and Ryosuke just can't deal with them sometimes. Yuto is that kind of guy who will arrange rose petals all over the bed and writes an "I love you" with them. He will prepare a grapefruit bath at perfect temperature and gets Ryosuke to accompany him soaking their bodies together, talking about all the bizarre stuffs whilst drowning themselves in countless kisses.

Ryosuke sighs, recalling how they bathed for over an hour last night, – experimenting all the “fun stuffs” Yuto found on the internet - and before anything unwanted could happen he decided to take some medication. He stumbles on the couch and Momo-chan leaps from his lap. He can still smell Yuto in the air very clearly. In fact, it's barely 30 minutes ago when they were sitting on the couch and cuddling each other, drowning themselves in kisses and touches as if the day will never end.

And now, he misses Yuto so much already.

He thinks about what he was imagining back there when Yuto's arms wrapped around Momo-chan, thinking how fatherly and cool he would look carrying a baby. Probably he was indulging himself in some crazy fantasies there, but he imagined giving Yuto such happiness upon carrying his; their baby.

And snap! He realises now as he draws his breath, it was merely his hopeless fantasy.

He wonders again if he has fallen this deep for Yuto.

 

_"Will we be together forever?"_

 

The same question clouds his mind, recalling how Yuto looked after saying that. He had some mixed feelings, so much thoughts he couldn't put into words properly.

 

_"I want to be with you forever."_

 

Were the words written in his mind at that time but he somehow couldn't speak them out to let Yuto know what he was thinking.

 

;

 

"Where are you now?"

"I'm at the clinic already."

"Alright. Coming in 5 minutes. I'm walking from the station right now."

"Get it."

Yuto breathlessly panting on his way after the phone call, not minding how he doesn't have proper amount of his face covered, – basically only has a pair of sunglasses on - and some people, particularly middle schoolers start to notice him and scream when they see his face.

He doesn't bother, he only has one thing in his mind right now: to get to the clinic as fast as possible.

He takes a deep breath when he finally reaches his destination and continues walking along the corridors. He spots someone after a few corridors, a look of worried on his face.

"How's Momo-chan?" Yuto peeks at Momo-chan's face from where he is sitting. She curls and hides herself deep in Ryosuke's arms. There is no bark nor lick she always uses to greet Yuto. Yuto's face has now turned as worried as Ryosuke's

"She's been refusing to eat anything since this morning. I think the doctor will call for her turn soon for examination."

Just as soon as Ryosuke says the words, the veterinarian calls for his dog's name. Yuto and Yamada respond simultaneously and get up from their seats.

Momo-chan obediently lies on the table and the doctor starts to examine her.

"How's her behaviour lately?" The doctor turns to ask Yuto, and Ryosuke answers him instead almost immediately while Yuto awkwardly points at Ryosuke.

"Um, at first she vomited yesterday afternoon. She ate normally after that, but vomited again at night. I was worried so I prepared some homemade dog food this morning, but she vomited again." Ryosuke explains, bowing at the end with a sad look on his face. Yuto tries to comfort him by patting his back and whispers, "it's okay, she will be okay..." quietly.

The doctor nods in understanding and proceeds to examine Momo-chan. He takes a sample of her blood and checks her joints, tries to find anything unusual but finds none.

With a kind smile, he explains to Ryosuke that he thinks his dog just experiences some minor allergy.

"I'll give you the information of the blood check today. Please rest assured, there's a high chance it is just a minor allergy because she doesn't show much severe symptoms. Thank you for your cooperation and please contact us if the symptoms persist for a few more days." He offers the couple a reassuring smile. Yuto nods and pats Ryosuke again, while Ryosuke returns the smile and reaches out for Momo-chan.

"Thank you so much, doctor. I'll surely update you about her condition."

"You're welcome. And, if I remember correctly, have we ever met somewhere?" The doctor smiles again, addressing it to Yuto instead.

Yuto finds himself searching for his memory, trying to recall if he had met the doctor somewhere in the past.

"I am Okamoto Keito. Do you remember?"

Each piece of Yuto's memory slowly crawls back to his head, looking back at his past if there is anyone called Okamoto Keito in his life before. Suddenly he snaps, smiling so widely as if he has just found his long-lost treasure.

"Okamoto.... the glasses guy!" Yuto doesn't realise that he is talking way too loud and Ryosuke proceeds to step on his feet hardly just to stop him from yelling even more.

"Ouch! Yama-chan, that hurts!" Yuto lifts his feet that has just been stepped on with pained expression on his face, whilst Ryosuke answers it with a pout.

"Eh..., what are you doing here, glasses boy? You really become a veterinarian now?" Yuto attempts to relieve the pain and resumes his talk with the doctor again.

"Yeah, it's been my dream, and so here I am!" A huge smile adorns his face and they laugh along, except for Ryosuke who keeps himself busy with Momo-chan and doesn't understand a single thing the two are talking about. They exchange contact information shortly after, planning to meet after Keito is done with work for the day.

 

;

 

Along the way as they take a taxi back home, Ryosuke stays silent while observing Momo-chan's behaviour closely. Yuto looks over from his side, admiring how much Ryosuke's fatherly – or motherly – side is showing.

"She will be okay, Yama-chan. I'm sure of it."

Ryosuke nods slightly and leans back to his seat, putting Momo-chan on his lap.

“I guess I’ll have sleepover tonight.” Yuto says, running his fingers on Momo-chan.

“Why?”

“Well, I need to help my wife to take care of my daughter.” Yuto says briefly, and Ryosuke tries his hardest not to blush.

“Yutti...”

“Yeah...?”

“Anyway, Okamoto-san is your classmate in middle school?" Ryosuke averts the topic, doesn't bother to look at Yuto while asking as his hands continue stroking Momo-chan.

"Yeah. He was my classmate. We were together from primary school up to middle school. He went to study abroad to England after that. Can you believe it? It's been years since we graduated and we somehow meet again by fate! Isn't it romantic?" Yuto giggles, putting his hand on Yamada's hair and caresses it unconsciously.

"You're not jealous, are you?" Yuto smirks when he realises Ryosuke acting like he's unaffected by his words, and Ryosuke can smell that.

"Stupid! Why would I? Yeah, it's romantic. You guys can relieve the sweet moments from the past." Ryosuke steps on his feet again to remind Yuto that they are still in the taxi. He knows Yuto better than to leave him without warning and he will start kissing his face right about now.

"You seriously need to stop stepping on my feet. That damn hurts."

"You deserve it."

Momo-chan stays on Ryosuke's lap for the rest of the journey. When they're finally home, she escapes from Ryosuke's arms and runs to drink some water. Ryosuke feels better when she starts barking again and licks his hand.

"Ah, look. Your motherly side is showing again, Yama-chan. So cute."

Ryosuke blushes right away at hearing Yuto's words.

"Mother? I am a man, you know?"

"Yeah, but you're my wife."

Ryosuke wants to smack that smug face of Yuto's who is grinning innocently in front of him, saying such thing so casually yet again.

"We're not married."

Ryosuke intends to tease him, smirking while approaching Yuto closer until they are facing each other close enough.

"Then let's get married."

Ryosuke doesn't expect Yuto to have a serious face on while saying that. Intimidated at how a person can be so cruel, he's unsure how to answer and what to answer Yuto with. He believes Yuto understands him without the needs of saying anything.

There are only kisses as answers that Ryosuke offers to Yuto, wholeheartedly, delicately, pushing his way towards Yuto as if their distance isn't close enough already. There is only the sound of their breath racing with each other, a calm fire that warms their bodies, and the taste of love in the air that is piquant and dangerous at the same time.

 

;

 

The bar is not as crowded as it is on weekends, but there are still enough people to make the bar looks and feels alive. The waiter guides Yuto and Ryosuke to much deeper side of the bar towards a corner.

This place is a regular place where Yuto and Ryosuke usually spend their night after days of working nonstop and crazy amount of stress built up in their heads. That is, before heading home for some comfort, - and cuddle for the whole night - be it at Ryosuke's or Yuto's home.

They sit comfortably on their chairs and wait for Keito to arrive.

“You look pretty tonight.” Yuto addresses at Ryosuke, smirking from across the table.

“Flirt. Is that all you have? I’m not going to give in to you that easily tonight.”

Yuto shrugs in his seat. Ryosuke is up for some fun tonight.

“I’ll surely give you everything, name it. I’m even up for a ‘switch’.”

Ryosuke utters a mischievous grin while throwing his gaze away from Yuto. He clearly, deliberately, has something in mind. As he watches his surrounding, he spots Keito walking from the entrance. He waves at Keito as he works his way among the crowd and greets the two shortly after.

"You’re so pretty tonight, Keito." Yuto exclaims, sniffing the fragrant aftertaste of the alcohol. Ryosuke quickly turns his gaze towards Yuto and throws his killer glare at him.

"Hum, thank you. You yourself have become so stunning nowadays." Keito returns his smile, just as sweet, and continues before someone gets the wrong idea.

"You've got yourself a beautiful partner as well." Ryosuke gasps at the mention of partner and in a second he motions towards Keito, but Yuto is clearly faster than he is in terms of speaking.

"Eh, how, did you know??" Yuto has his eyes wide open and Ryosuke quickly nudges him on the ribs.

"We're not something like that." Ryosuke says flatly.

Ryosuke's statement sends wonder to Keito's mind, so he stays silent for a moment and trying to read the atmosphere. There is something like disappointment painted on Yuto's face but he's not saying anything either. It's like Yuto and Ryosuke somehow move in sync, and it amuses him.

"Alright... I'm probably reading too much." Keito takes his sip and raises his glass, attempting to dismiss the awkward ambience.

"You definitely are." Ryosuke laughs faintly, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"That's unfortunate. You know, I read a lot of stories about you guys and I'm actually a fan."

Ryosuke frowns in question. "What do you mean? You, read stories about us?" He settles his glass down and listens to Keito intently.

Keito clears his throat when he realises that he ought to give out a clear explanation. Yuto's facial expression begins to soften at hearing something interesting.

"Well, how should I start this? You guys are somewhat well-known in the entertainment industry for having such close bond. And many of your fans are taking it to the next level..." Keito carefully arranges the words in his mind, chuckling a little from the awkwardness.

"I guess we are. But wait, what are our fans doing?" Yuto laughs, trying to guess where this will lead to.

Ryosuke only focuses on what Keito will say next, be it for better or worse. But he can almost read something bizarre coming up when Keito opens his mouth again.

"Alright, firstly, I love reading. And so, I've been reading some stories dedicated to you guys written by your fans. Some of them actually are really good."

"Huh? They make stories about us?? What kind of stories?" Yuto points at his face, then pokes Ryosuke's cheek afterwards.

Ryosuke only shakes his head because neither of the people he is facing make any sense to him.

Keito shrugs, shifts his position a little and tilts his head closer to the two guys. He begins to speak, much quieter his words almost get drenched amidst the voices around them.

"You sure you want to know?"

Ryosuke finds himself doubting whether he really wants to know what Keito is going to show them, but Yuto nods curiously and comes forward to hear what Keito is going to tell them.

Keito takes his phone out of his pocket instead and does some log-ins and clicking on some stuff Yuto and Ryosuke fail to recognise. As Keito flips his phone to show the two what he was talking about earlier, Yuto instantly drowned in awe about how genius Keito is to find such site. He's bewildered at how he has never found the site while surfing the web.

"I love my fans." Yuto says after reading some paragraphs of the story. He turns to Ryosuke who is covering his face with both of his hands and Yuto can see his ears are all red despite the dim lighting.

“They are genius. You should check out the English ones as well. They’re just as awesome. They even draw manga out of you guys, you know. At first, I was surprised to see my childhood friend’s face on the cover. I wouldn’t have thought of this.”

“But I’m gonna need your help, Keito. I’m not that good at English. And wow. My fans are indeed genius. Seriously, I’ve never thought of this before!” Yuto keeps scrolling the screen until he reaches the end of the story where he gasps in fascination.

Ryosuke is annoyed but at the same time impressed that his fans can see right through him and Yuto. It’s not safe anymore, he thinks. He knows they need to do something about it before their management find out about the whole fishy story about them.

The night carries on and they talk about many things including how the three of them get to the place they are today. Ryosuke thinks that he can kind of accept Keito a little more now. He’s been observing his behaviour since he arrived and maybe, he can trust him. Just maybe. At least Yuto trusts him, and he feels safe by that fact.

“Keito, come over to my house next time for dinner. You’re gonna need to taste Ryosuke’s homemade miso soup before you die.”

“You’re exaggerating. And you’re drunk.” Ryosuke steps on Yuto’s feet again, probably the nth time today.

Keito laughs and nods assuredly before waving good bye and goes out of their sight.

Ryosuke sighs and grasps Yuto’s hand, dragging him to a corner. Away from the street lights and pairs of eyes that could notice them in no time.

“Yuto, will this be okay?” Ryosuke fists Yuto’s leather jacket and drives him onto the wall.

“What will be okay?” His eyes are half closed under control of the alcohol. He leans closer, crashing their foreheads together.

“Will it be okay to be kissing here. Cause I can’t help it anymore.”

There is a flirtatious shade to his voice, and Yuto shivers at every word he says.

“You’re drunk, honey. But sure... I can’t, either.” He pecks Ryosuke’s cheek, teasingly.

“Screw people.”

“Screw them.”

It starts sweet and lazy, their lips collide and glazing over each other. Yuto begins to work his way in and fills Ryosuke with his tongue. A beautiful sound erupts from Ryosuke’s mouth, as they both cooperating, twisting, and turning everything around them into a euphony of racing breath and sweet desire.

“You won’t leave me, will you, Nakajima?” Ryosuke stumbles, pushing his way further. Yuto sinks his hands amidst the lock of Ryosuke’s hair, pulling closer.

“Even the thoughts of leaving you hurt me.”

 

Really, neither of them realise nor in the slightest aware of a pair of eyes watching from another grim corner, his eyes twitching. The scene in front of him intensifies in seconds that pass and he has no other option than to burst, to stop what’s happening and going to happen.

And the night turns dire.

 

;

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuto can relax a bit to learn that his brother, Raiya, approves his relationship with Ryosuke.  
> However, is there a catch? Neither of them are able to perceive it, yet.  
> All Yuto and Ryosuke know is... life is beautiful when they are together. And it's crazy how helpless and blessed they are to have each other.

 

 

_"It’s crazy how blessed I am to have you in my life.”_

_;_

The night turns darker than it already is. Yuto feels his blood flowing to his brain the second he catches someone’s voice in his ears. It’s a voice too familiar for him to not recognize.

Yuto opens his eyes, barely, still under the effect of alcohol in his veins. He looks up at the figure who is standing just a few steps across him and Ryosuke. Ryosuke turns his body around too, catching a glimpse of someone of whom he knows all too well. He curses under his breath, thinking what a mess he has got himself into.

“You should be thankful it’s me. Go find a room, seriously!”

Yuto approaches him, unconvinced of how to start.

“Raiya, um, this isn’t like what you think it is...  What are you doing here by the way?!”

His younger brother doesn’t move an inch, clutching his camera tight to his chest and takes a deep breath.

“Nothing. Just hanging around to take some pictures. Didn’t expect to find you here. And Yamada-san, too. It’s been a while, Yamada-san. But what the hell are you guys doing?”

“We... nothing.. That was, I think, we drank too much... I’m sorry.” Ryosuke stutters, his tangled mind is suffocating him, but the words come out somehow.

“Imagine if it’s paparazzi who catch you guys doing that... You’ll be in great trouble. Well, I’m sorry too, I guess. I ruined the mood, didn’t I?” He laughs, and there is a visible force in it.

“Be careful next time...”

Before Yuto can say anything, his brother hits him on the arm and leaves. He walks a little faster and begins to run, out of their sight. For a second, it feels like a dream. One dream both of them never wished to have.

“Oh man... I think we’re in trouble.”

Yuto gulps, but his throat has run dry, consumed in his own fear.

 

;

 

Yuto and Ryosuke haven’t been talking since they returned home half an hour ago. That same dream from a week ago resurfaces in Yuto’s mind as he recalls Raiya’s expression earlier. He wonders what was going on in his little brother’s mind. Does he loathe Yuto now? Feeling betrayed cause Yuto never told him about his relationship with Ryosuke? What will he do? Will he tell his parents about what happened? Knowing Raiya, Yuto knows he won’t do such a thing. He would probably accumulates that Yuto is just sort of lonely...

 

“What do you think he will do?” Ryosuke says, almost comes out as a whisper.

“Who knows? Um... He probably thinks we were just messing around.”

Yuto can’t believe he says that. He doesn’t mean it, but he doesn’t know how to answer to that either. His mind is still running back and forth, thinking of the worst-case scenario about his relationship with his one and only brother. That hurts him, but the words are said. What’s done is done.

_“Were we?”_

“He probably... does.”

Deep inside, Ryosuke is breaking.

“It’ll be okay, Yama-chan.”

The truth is, Yuto wishes he could say something to fix the broken that he feels just the same.

There is a hand on Ryosuke’s shoulder, and a comforting kind of warmth sips through. Ryosuke decides to let the heavy feelings go.

“Yuto, do you think we should at least let our family know... about us?” Unsure if something he says only makes the situation get worse, he nestles closer to Yuto, but keeping his hands on his own knees and eyes staring blankly at nothingness.

Yuto goes out of his way to wrap Ryosuke in his arms and embraces him tight. It feels warm, as always, and Ryosuke understands what Yuto’s answer is. No words needed. Only the scent that makes him feel like home is something he will ever need. Yuto breaks apart from the hug after some time. He looks at Ryosuke in the eyes, a pair of beautiful orbs staring back at him.

“That day will be the day I’ll take your hand to be with me forever. No one will be able to stop us.”

 

Sometimes, Yuto breaks Ryosuke in the most beautiful way.

 

The night goes on, shifts into a little warmer from the candle that’s glowing on the bedside table. Yuto cradles Ryosuke in his arms, feeling his breath on his body but he stays unmoving. No little kisses like the usual nights, but it feels more comfortable this way. The time feels like moving slower as they do nothing but embracing each other, breathing in and out on their own accord.

_When tomorrow comes, things that once matter probably won’t matter anymore._

 

;

 

_Raiya:_

_“Had a good night?” (Smirking emoticon)_

Yuto smirks back at his phone, but neglects the message as he stretches his body and walks out of the bedroom. A delicious smell greets his nose immediately, whilst his eyes catching a sight of Ryosuke in a cute apron and stirring something in a big pot.

He always loves this smell. It’s a smell of love, and it glides pass him in the air, slowly filling his whole heart. It sounds cheesy, but he always yearns for this, such little thing that makes his heart feel full in the first morning. It reminds him again how blissful life has been since Ryosuke came into his life.

“Good morning, my beautiful wife...” Yuto plants a kiss on Ryosuke's cheek, almost like stealing because Ryosuke is still busy walking about from the kitchen to the dining table to prepare their breakfast.

“Good morning. You’re on my way. I’d appreciate if you’d help me with this.” Ryosuke hands him two pairs of chopsticks and spoons. Yuto smiles as he looks over at how Ryosuke's ears have turned red from the abrupt kiss. He can’t help but to kiss more.

Ryosuke glares when Yuto proceeds to kiss him several times more. He likes kisses, it’s visible how his cheeks are blushing from them, but he is either too stubborn to admit it or he’s a little annoyed since he can’t concentrate on what he’s working on.

“Seriously, Yutti. I will kick you out of my house if you keep doing this.”

Yuto gasps and backs away, covering his mouth with both hands.

“Why? I haven’t done anything wrong! I just want to shower my cute rice ball with love in the first morning...” He fakes a pout. Ryosuke grins and pinches his nose in respond.

“But it’s too early, Yuto... You’re distracting me.”

“Am I? Ah, I see... You won’t able to focus on your interview later and keep thinking of my kisses?”

Sometimes, Ryosuke wishes he could be as cheesy as Yuto. But considering how awkwardly cheesy Yuto can be, he changes his mind.

“Nah, I can’t stop thinking of wanting to kick you now cause you’re distracting me from cooking!”

Yuto muses how a storm is cleared in a night, they are laughing again in the morning like every time when they are together. There are kisses that he’s allowed to give and Ryosuke's soft voice waking him up in the morning. How blessed he feels to be able to experience such life, not wanting to waste any second of their time.

Yuto starts humming a song, its tone lingers in the air around them. Ryosuke is finally done cooking, as he reaches for the big arms for a hug. They sing along to the song together for the next five minutes, their bodies glued close and pressed to the wall. Too warm it’s almost drowning them in incalescent.

“I love you.”

“All the more.”

_“It’s crazy how blessed I am to have you in my life.”_

 

;

 

Ryosuke can’t wait for the day to be over. Just like what Yuto mentioned an hour ago, he can’t stop thinking of Yuto’s kisses. Plus, he’s so done just thinking of the talking and walking from one place to another that he needs to conduct for the day. He’s been endlessly promoting for his movie that’ll be released in a month time. Which means even more works waiting for him for next few days.

A woman besides him snickers and pats his back. 

“Are you dead already? Gosh! It’s only morning! Turns out I’m actually stronger than you.”

Ryosuke turns to her and sends her a mischievous glare.

“Yeah, I’m dead. This is my ghost speaking.”

“Spooky! But do you know who I am? I am the powerful witch here. Nothing matches my power.”

The woman mimics the face of a witch, but it breaks him into laughter.

“Tsubasa-chan, your face is not scary at all!”

A voice comes from the other direction that quickly averts their attention.

“Wow, Honda-san and Yamada-san seem to get along with each other so well. It’s interesting!”

The interviewer says as she is walking across the room. Ryosuke laughs at the comment, followed by Tsubasa who shakes his head vigorously to deny the claim. They surely get along well as they spent several months to shoot for the movie, but they need to refrain from suggesting unnecessary assumption from people in the industry. After all, both are engaged in different relationships. Things might get unsettling in some ways for them if people’s speculation goes out of control. 

“Shall we start the interview now?”

The two nod in agreement, and they begin the interview for the day. Ryosuke is surprised at how easy it is to talk in an interview, and he hasn’t felt that way for a long time. He thanks Tsubasa before they part for different activity. Tsubasa smiles widely at him, waving him goodbye.

“We should hang out some time!”

“Yeah, sure.” Ryosuke is unsure whether that is the correct response. But Tsubasa continues before he gets the wrong idea.

“We can do double date!”

Ryosuke gulps and looks at Tsubasa in confusion.

“Double date you said? I have no girlfriend, you know...?”

Tsubasa laughs more, a little too much that it annoys Ryosuke in a unique way.

“With that beautiful face of yours... Of course, girls would feel too intimidated to date you.” She says while half laughing, and takes a deep breath, 

“How about boyfriend?”

Ryosuke feels like his heart jumps from his body at hearing Tsubasa’s question. He can only hear Tsubasa’s laugh fading as she walks away before he is able to regain consciousness.

 

What is this? Why would Tsubasa say that like she meant it? Could it be possible that she speculates things between Ryosuke and someone? One particular actor? In that case, Yuto easily falls into the list. More and more people discover his relationship with Yuto? Things seem to get scarier than Yamada ever expected before.

 

His phone beeps, breaking him from the endless questions in his head. He reaches out for it, looking over at the screen, at the name he remembers all too well. It’s a message from his sister, Chihiro.

_“Ryosuke, meet me tonight at 9. The usual cafe. We need to talk. It’s important.”_

Ryosuke feels himself shivering at the last word. His sister doesn’t invite him quite often for something as serious as an important talk, and he is ambivalent about the invitation. He stops in his way, suddenly not knowing where he is going anymore. From the corner of his eyes, he can feel someone staring at his direction. He turns his head to search for the figure. He doesn’t expect to see Yuto smiling from ear to ear, waving his hand enthusiastically at him.

 

_“Boyfriend...?”_

_“Why have I been hiding my boyfriend away?”_

As Yuto inches closer to him, Ryosuke feels a tinge of pain in his heart, realising how far they are from each other even at such close distance. Even when such delicate lips catch his, as if without fear to the world. His body responds to the touch, and his only option is to receive what he’s been given.

Oh, love.

 

;

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryosuke is invited for a meet up by his sister, Chihiro. He doesn't expect Yuto to come with him.  
> It's either for good news or bad news. Or mix of both altogether.

 

 

_“If I’m dreaming right now, please let me keep dreaming forever...”_

Ryosuke’s mind goes blank when the warm, comforting fingers make their way through his fingers. He looks over to the figure sitting beside him, but no words he can utter; his mouth refuses to speak. He looks away immediately when Yuto turns to look at him.

“I already told you this morning that my schedule is pretty tight today, Yuto. You don’t have to do this.” Ryosuke finally speaks up after the long debate in his head that doesn’t seem to end. He plays with his fingers in attempt to erase the awkward thoughts in his head. It’s just Yuto, why does he feel so funny just responding to his touch?

Yuto squeezes their hands together while forming a small smile. He advances to peck Ryosuke’s cheek, in which Ryosuke reacts by blushing, cheeks turning all red. He throws his gaze at Yuto, eyes filled with questions.

“I just want to have lunch with my baby, may I?

“First of all, it’s only 11 now, Yuto.” Ryosuke checks his watch, signalling for Yuto to see.

Yuto chuckles just like his usual self, and loosens his grip on Ryosuke’s hand. He then turns over and approaches his lover with eyes fixed at him. Yuto dives in and kisses Ryosuke, who’s gone dumbfounded. He doesn’t manage to turn away from Yuto’s face that’s only inching closer and closer before finally crushes onto him.

“Then, it’s early lunch.” Yuto whispers the words in Ryosuke’s ear. In that second, Ryosuke finds himself at a loss for words or ability to think. He crumbles down from his defence when Yuto pushes him and kisses him deeper, mind rushing and breath racing. Yuto does it slowly, as if counting each second when their skins touch and lips wetting each other. Ryosuke’s breath hitches when Yuto moves his hand further beneath his suits. Each touch is endearing, driving him insane.

“I can’t help it anymore. You look so handsome today... Are you planning to steal some hearts, huh?”

Still with lips all over Ryosuke, he attempts to reach deep down into Ryosuke’s trousers before being stopped. Ryosuke is all breathy, suppressing his own desire but he can’t risk this to get worse and lead them to a major problem.

“Yuto! Do you realise where the fuck are we?!” Ryosuke shakes Yuto to wake him from his drunken state of mind. Ryosuke must be lying to say he’s not turned on by things Yuto has done up to now. He can feel his body begging for more, but he simply looks away to avoid it being shown in front of Yuto.

Yuto snickers, “I know. Which is why I’m going to drive right now. Let’s have some fun somewhere before you get to the next interview. Shall we? Shall we not?”

Without hearing further answer, Yuto starts the engine and drives away from the carpark into the bustling streets of Tokyo.

“Where are we going? Yuto, you’re not going to make me late for my interview.”

“Of course, I am not. We’re just gonna have a quick bite and I’ll take you to your next interview.”

Ryosuke sighs in his seat. Minutes drag by, he looks out of the window as the view transforms slowly into something that takes him back. He looks at Yuto again, who is still focusing on the steering wheel and humming a familiar song.

“You know where we are going now, don’t you?”

Ryosuke knows it, still remembers very clearly, the road they are passing that becomes narrower and the sea breeze that’s basking on his face. The scent of that one evening still lingers in the autumn air of 2017.

He remembers...

_How the wind swept his hair, covering his face. Yuto landed a hand to reveal it and smiled so graciously it was almost suffocating him._

_Yuto looked bright and cheerful just like every day he’d been seen at school. He mumbled words, trying to pick up what almost fell out of his mouth and arranged them carefully. Grinning shyly, he said sounded more of a whisper._

_“Yama-chan, I like you.”_

_Ryosuke felt like his feet were no longer touching the ground below him when those words escaped Yuto’s mouth._

_‘Yuto-kun, likes me?’_

_Ryosuke couldn’t look at Yuto’s eyes that were gazing at him, intently, waiting for his respond._

_“Yuto-kun, are you kidding me?”_

_Yamada cut it off and ran with no turning back._

_Yuto could only look at the shadow that slowly faded as the sun went down, wondering where did it go wrong. He thought of what Ryosuke ever said about the moments they spent together and how precious they were. How he wanted to be Yuto’s best friend forever and go through everything they might face in the future together. How the multiple sleepovers were amazing and helped him a lot to sleep well. Ryosuke never liked sleeping alone and fortunately Yuto was there to help him overcome it. Yuto was reading too much into what Ryosuke had meant by “love” and “care.”_

_Yuto said something he shouldn’t have said, experiencing a feeling he should’ve avoided. But there was no turning back when Ryosuke refused to talk to him until the end of their high school days._

“Why did you run away?” Yuto inhales the breeze deep before breaking the silence as they are standing just by the road and overlooking the ocean in front of them.

“I was... scared, Yuto...”

_“Even now, that miserable feeling hasn’t quite left me.”_

Yuto nods and smiles bitterly to himself, biting off the pain that’s creeping into him.

“You ran away for years, you know. At one point, I never thought we will reach this point at all.” Yuto sighs before continuing to reach out for Ryosuke’s hand, squeezes it tightly as if telling what his mouth is trying to say.

“It’s alright if you’re scared. I’m with you.”

Once again, the weight of the world is suddenly lifted from Ryosuke’s shoulder when Yuto’s words hit him. He thinks of what he’s been doing, what they’ve been doing. At time like this is the time when he feels like he wants to tell the whole world about everything, anything at all, not caring about judgement or what it could affect anyone or his career. He wants to let them know about Nakajima Yuto who had captured his heart when he saw him for the first time.

Ryosuke was too late at realising what he was feeling the whole three years of high school. He felt like he misunderstood himself, he feared judgement from people around him and his family. Even then, when he decided to stop fighting, none of his family nor friends know exactly what’s going on between Yuto and him.  

Just like the breeze of autumn air, it’s warm. Their skins crashing upon each other when Yuto takes the lead, kissing Ryosuke fully and erasing the regret from his mind. Whispering to Ryosuke a promise to be strong no matter what the future has in store.

 

;

 

“Long time no see, Yuto-kun.” Chihiro says, bearing her sweetest smile when she sees Yuto walking towards her.

“It’s been a long time, indeed. How are you, Chihiro-san?”

Yuto takes the seat he’s been offered and smears a smile towards Chihiro, while Ryosuke grumbling from behind his back at the fact that they don’t even acknowledge his appearance.

“I’m great. And I feel even better after seeing you!” She jokes, then sort of reminding herself that someone – a certain blonde guy - may get jealous if she acts too flirty with Yuto. Besides, she is no longer the same single woman who used to hang around with the likes of Yuto and Ryosuke.

“You don’t even say hi to me.” Ryosuke complains, throwing his look from Chihiro to Yuto and finally takes his seat near Yuto.

“I’ve seen your face way too much. Besides, what’s with the long face? Displeased for having to see your sister?” Chihiro takes a sip of her drink, smirking at her brother.

Yuto tries to adjust his position and refrains from laughing way too early before they even start a conversation. It is funny because he already knows what they are going to talk about. But somehow, he needs to act like he knows nothing.

“Say, why did you invite Yuto too? Do you have any funny motive behind this?”

Chihiro offers her mystifying smile upon hearing her brother’s assumption. She lets the two guys order their drink first before replying. Yamada’s attention is back at her after ordering his drink, eyeing his sister like he hasn’t seen his sister for a year long.

“Take it easy and have your drink first.  I’m going to tell you guys something. The first one, is good news. I literally can’t wait to tell you two about this!” Chihiro takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I am... well, I’m pregnant. You’ll soon become an uncle, Ryosuke!” Chihiro says excitedly, spilling her words all over, trying not to knock her drink over.

“Wah!! Congratulations, Chihiro-san!” Yuto leaps from his seat in bemused expression. Ryosuke can’t picture his joy in words and hugs his sister right away. He pretends to throw confetti on top of her, smiling broadly as Chihiro is blushing from embarrassment.

“Alright, alright... Now, let’s move on, shall we?” Chihiro says then, takes another sip of her drink and look at the two guys back and forth. Yuto nods, and finally Ryosuke’s curiosity level has reached its peak. He wonders what his sister wants to discuss that he will invite Yuto over. If it’s something regarding family matter, she surely won’t invite Yuto.

“I’ve asked quite few things to Yuto. So, please don’t even try to deny, Ryosuke.”

For some reasons, Ryosuke shivers at the mention of his name by his sister. He looks at his sister in question, hoping that it’s not something troublesome that his sister has found out.

Or, maybe, he should’ve prepared for it.

“Are you guys together?”

Like a thunder, it hits him mercilessly.

“What? Oh, huh, eh.... of course, we are together. We are friends!” Ryosuke stutters. At some point, he was expecting this. After all, how could Chihiro not find anything suspicious about Yuto and him? They visit each other, have regular sleepovers at each other’s home, hang out quite often, so on and so forth. Ryosuke initially talked to his sister about his plan to go on vacation to Hawaii with Yuto just a few days ago. Perhaps, that’s what has raised Chihiro’s suspicion even more.

Chihiro chuckles hearing her brother getting all faltered and avoiding eye contact.

“Friends with benefit?”

Ryosuke realises there is nothing he can hide anymore. He turns to Yuto, notices that he has his hand covering his mouth, apparently trying to suppress his laughter. There is a short pause as he thinks what he should say.  

“How... did you even know about this?” Ryosuke struggles to think of what he should say that his so-called secret is exposed in front of his own sister.

Chihiro laughs at that, followed by Yuto who proceeds to grab Ryosuke’s hand from under the table and squeezes it, a big smile plastered on his face. Chihiro knows what’s up when she sees how his little brother’s cheeks redden as Yuto offers him a reassuring smile.

 

They carry on drinking through the night, except for Chihiro of course. She spends the time munching on snacks instead and laughing at the two guys’ stories.

Ryosuke concludes in his mind then, coming out is not as scary as he thinks it is. Especially in front of Chihiro, for she knows him like the back of her hand. She knows how close Yuto and himself have always been since high school. Back then, she used to hang out with them and went to shopping together, being the third wheel she was.

Chihiro smiles as she sees the two guys in front of her, thinking how Ryosuke finally realises what he should do. He was living in denial and agony and ended up hurting himself along the way. She’s thankful that Yuto didn’t give up even when Ryosuke was at his worst. He has seen Ryosuke both at his best and his worst. Maybe it was fate that set them to reconcile after such storm.

 

;

 

It’s Yuto’s bed tonight, his room smells of ardour and love. Before the night changes, Ryosuke purrs on Yuto’s ears.

“Am I dreaming right now?”

Yuto steals a kiss on Ryosuke's exposed shoulder, down to his collar bone.

“Maybe yes? It feels dreamy indeed...”

Yuto is already on top of him, navigating himself and the next thing he does is caressing Ryosuke’s thighs. Teasing him, he runs his fingers through the smooth skin and fondles his nipple with the others. Ryosuke lets out a moan when Yuto prolongs his game and taking him further by engulfing his earlobes gently. The sensation is dreamy and inexplicable, burning as their skins plunging onto each other. The night holds a promise to be long and unchaste.

 

_“If I’m dreaming right now, please let me keep dreaming forever...”_

 

;

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuto wants to forget his grim past, now that he's with Ryosuke. He's thankful they have found their way to each other.  
> But sometimes gray cloud comes without warning, and when it rains, it pours.

 

 

_“Thank God, you’re mine.”_

 

“Your hair is black now? Seriously? You’re changing your hair colour way too much!” Yuto yells from the front door, a usual black bag for sleeping over dangling on his shoulder. A frown drawn on his face at catching sight of Ryosuke’s new appearance.

“You know the drill, Yuto. It’s a for a drama.” Ryosuke is already in the kitchen, pouring juice into a glass and walks towards Yuto, offering it to him.

“Oh, thank you.” For a few seconds, he’s sort of forgetting what he said earlier when the fresh juice starts gliding down his throat.

“Hmm, did you make this yourself?” Yuto reaches out for Ryosuke’s waists, arms pulling closer and puckers him on the lips.

Ryosuke smiles when their lips detach from each other. While running his fingers on Yuto’s hair, he mutters a yes, and suddenly his desire drags him to take turn and kiss Yuto. He does so, pulling Yuto down to his level and kisses him like he’s the king, or queen, either way he’s the one claiming control. Taking Yuto with both arms, they stumble upon their favourite spot to make out, embracing each other and running their hands everywhere. Shirts are scattered, and nibbles are delivered all over Ryosuke’s upper body as he keeps pulling Yuto closer.

“Do you like my new hair?” Ryosuke smears his words on Yuto’s lips before crashing yet again.

“It looks cute on you.” Yuto answers before shoving his tongue, asserting power upon Ryosuke.

“Thank God.”

 

_“Thank God, you’re mine.”_

_;_

Somehow, Yuto’s arms are always warm, wrapping Ryosuke like he goes back in time being a baby. His kind heart lights him up, taking him over with each touch. That kind of blessing is something that always gets Ryosuke through the day. Even on some days when he’s too worn out to face another day, seeing Yuto sleeping soundly beside him somehow offers him new power. He wakes up then, always before Yuto and without making any noise. He keeps his voice down and enters the most treasured room in his home: kitchen.

Cooking is one of Ryosuke’s favourite things to do. Furthermore, by having Yuto around he’s always tempted to serve his partner his best homemade dishes. One thing that he never misses every day is making miso soup. It’s not just a normal miso soup, – or at least that’s what Yuto always tells him – he pours all his feelings into cooking it. His mum told him once when he was a kid that one of the secrets for a happy family is a warm breakfast. She used to cook miso soup every morning, accompanied with piping hot rice and grilled fish. Hearty bowls of miso soup were arranged on the table, and as his father appeared, she would serve him some tea with the warmest smile.

Ryosuke smiles when the images appear in his mind. He wants to recreate such scene with Yuto, now that he’s separated from his parents and sisters.

 

“It’s delicious. Thanks for cooking, baby.”

Those words always give him an extraordinary kind of power.  

“It’s my pleasure, always. You need to stop saying thank you for it.”

“Why? I say it cause I feel thankful.” Yuto glances at Ryosuke who’s smiling genuinely, and ever so gingerly moves over to Yuto to offer him some more soup. Yuto nods, in his heart serenading a melody about his gratitude of living and loving this much. Life is blissful.

 

_;_

Yuto is mesmerised once again as he watches his brightest star on the screen. In such early morning Ryosuke is already appearing on TV for promotion of his new drama. His fair skin, his hair, his dazzling smile, the way he simply is even when he’s not doing anything. There’s an inexplicable charisma he perceives bursting out of Ryosuke. Sometimes, he wonders why he admires Ryosuke this much, supposed there is a secret as to why he’s so captivated.

If it’s a curse, then he’s very much blessed with it.

Yuto takes a deep breath instead, whatever it is that draws him to Ryosuke has taken them this far, and neither of them ever regret nor having doubt towards each other. Not after the long steep roads they’ve been through and endless nights spent longing.

Drowning in thoughts, Yuto doesn’t realize that it’s almost time to go for his photoshoot. One of his many photoshoots of the month for several magazines, some of which displaying Ryosuke on their cover. He wishes he will somehow bump onto Ryosuke at work, or even better, get to work with him again. Maybe, someday. It’s been over four years since the last time they worked together in a drama.

Yuto packs his bag and rushes out, leaving the comfort of Yamada’s home and into the busy street. He covers his face with mask and a pair on sunglasses. He thinks that’s a good enough disguise before someone knocks his shoulder and he turns around to see a rather familiar woman smiling before him. Alas, he’s then forced into making a – rather unnecessary – conversation that morning.

“It’s been a long time, really. But you haven’t changed much, Yuto...” The woman smiles ambiguously, running her fingers on Yuto’s face. He’s pulling back a little and throws just enough amount of smile towards his interlocutor.

The steam of coffee is filling the room of a small cafe in downtown Tokyo, where they’re sitting across from each other. Even then, the atmosphere feels cold. Yuto doesn’t feel at ease at all to be sitting there, worrying if someone might take pictures of him without his consent.

“Yeah. You too. How was Hong Kong?”

“It’s a nice city. I like it. Though I miss Japan a lot while I was there, especially during spring and autumn. I miss cherry blossoms, and... many other beautiful things...” As she says the words, her eyes stare intently at Yuto’s. Yuto looks away, sensing how this conversation isn’t going anywhere near good.

Yuto doesn’t hate this woman, but he never liked her either. It’s partly his mistake that this woman ever came into his life at all. Yuto was desperate, after years of fighting for his love that turned into nothing. Ryosuke was running from him farther and farther. Yuto was needing arms to comfort him and ears to listen to his grievance when she came around from behind the grim shadow. Her gentle words and understanding manner soothed him. Probably because she’s older that Yuto felt at ease to share his problems with her. Because she understood him. Slowly, somehow, Yuto began to realize that kind of attention wasn’t what he needed.

The clock is ticking, Yuto figures out he needs to put an end to this. He leaps from his seat and tells her that his time is up. She stands up too, clinging her bag and smiles at Yuto. To his surprise, she approaches him and throws an arm to his waist. She stands too close, and due to their similar height, their cheeks are slightly brushing. Discerning what’s going on, Yuto immediately steps back with arms reaching out. It turns awkward, and Yuto just can’t wait to escape from such embarrassing situation. He bids her farewell and walks away with his mask ready in his hand.

_“What the hell was that?”_

He just hopes no one saw what happened earlier.

 

;

 

When Yuto meets Ryosuke at night after work, he can’t tell him anything. He realises he has hurt Ryosuke enough by what happened in the past and he is not going to remind Ryosuke about it again. Yuto secretly hopes he never met her, and the previous incident this morning didn’t happen.

Ryosuke looks so delighted tonight and cooks steak for their dinner. Just the perfect amount for two and some perfectly crafted salad. Steak dinner isn’t complete without wine, so he takes out one of his personal favourite. They end up chatting along for hours, just like married couple discussing and sharing stories of the day.

A little after 1 a.m., they are both under heavy control of alcohol. Their glasses are empty with not even a single drop left. All they want to do now is cuddling around, breaking sweat, and ceaselessly kissing amidst the embrace of crumpled white sheet and urging desire.

Ryosuke moans Yuto’s name over and over, sounding like a beautiful melody taking them both to highest height. They fly so high, chasing the clouds within their reach without care of what tomorrow might bring. Be it gracious or tormenting, it’s part of their journey and consequences for the path they take.

 

;

 

_“The Taste of Fame: Who is Nakajima Yuto’s secret woman?”_

Sometimes, the first thing we see in the morning is not always something we’re much fond of. Obviously not today, either. Yuto grabs the paper before Ryosuke gets his hand on it. He flips the pages and read what’s written on the few pages ahead. It includes a side view of his face and a shadowy picture of a woman, in a position that is almost intimate. Yuto slaps himself knowing his nightmare is coming true. Even as he shoves the paper away, he’s pretty much sure his face is going to be on TV and magazines soon. Just like virus, the rumour will spread in rapid motion.

Yuto curses at himself realising how screwed he is, and for once in his two years relationship with Ryosuke, his smile isn’t making him feel warm. It freezes him.

 

;


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storms that keep crushing their way remind Yuto and Ryosuke each time of how far they've come.  
> More and more people come to their aid and support their relationship, but can they keep going this way?
> 
> \- Featuring a sweet surprise Ryosuke and Yuto prepare for their best friend, Chinen Yuri. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special for Chinen's 24th birthday because I love him so much. <3  
> Happy birthday Chii-chan!
> 
> I'm so sorry for the laaaate update. Certain things happened... >.<  
> I actually had this written two weeks ago but decided to edit it a little specially for Chinen's birthday.   
> I hope you like it!   
> Please let me know your thoughts on it. I want to hear it. <3  
> Thank you!

 

_“I love you so much it’s killing me.”_

;

 

“The weather is nice today, isn’t it, Yuto?” Ryosuke says from under his shade, tilting his head a little to glance over at Yuto.

The question is left unanswered. Yuto seems to be busy with his own thoughts. Ryosuke grabs his hand then, dragging him to a nearby bench. They’re sitting side by side now, an awkward grin escapes from Yuto’s face while Ryosuke flashes a bright smile at him.

“It’s really nice...” Ryosuke leans his back on the bench and looks up to the sky.

“It is...” Yuto concurs, taking a deep breath and looks at his surroundings.

They’re at Yoyogi park, just taking a relaxing evening walk. Work surprisingly finished early today so they can finally hang out together, even for a short time. The autumn breeze is waving on their faces. Leaves are falling, the sounds of birds chirping can be heard from every direction. There are many people of all ages at the park, just hanging around and playing with fallen leaves, creating memories by taking pictures and videos.

Yuto smiles as he looks at the scene. His heart is itching, wanting to do those memorable stuffs too but he is aware that he might attract unnecessary attention instead. He places his hand on Ryosuke’s and signals him to look at the people around them.

“Do you want to take some pictures, Yama-chan?”

“Absolutely! Why not?” Ryosuke answers him by getting up to his feet and smiles broadly at him, taking off his glasses and mask.

They stride across the park in attempt to find a quieter spot to take pictures. Ryosuke is laughing and smiling endlessly while Yuto presses his shutter here and there, catching some of the best pictures he has taken this year of his main and favourite model: Ryosuke Yamada. His outfit today matches the season perfectly and blends in with the milieu around the park. Yuto praises him as he takes picture after picture, ranging from serious poses to random ones, some candid shots that show Ryosuke laughing and waving his hands to the camera. Each picture gives Yuto a peaceful feeling, admiring how beautiful Ryosuke no matter what pose he pulls.

_“I can live my whole life just taking your pictures, for real.”_

Yuto’s thought is disrupted when Ryosuke knocks him and looks over at the camera in his hand. Ryosuke blushes when he realises Yuto has been looking at a picture of him laughing on the ground surrounded by golden leaves. Yuto has been observing it for a while now with mesmerised expression plastered on his face. The soft smile never leaves his face, making Ryosuke trembles.

_“If only it’s possible, I want to carve your smile in my heart.”_

Ryosuke wonders what is it that Yuto has been thinking while looking at his picture. An idea sparks in his mind suddenly, and without further ado he opens his umbrella and leans over to Yuto. He whispers on Yuto’s ear, “Yuto...,” and Yuto promptly turns his face to Ryosuke. Their faces are so close to each other, and at that point Ryosuke leans even closer to catch Yuto’s lips. The umbrella covers both of their faces under it, and thankfully it isn’t see through.

It’s now Yuto’s turn to blush. So hard when their lips touch again for the second time.

“You can be super sweet at times...” Yuto mumbles his words on his lips and they kiss more, sharing their breath with each other.

“I’m just in love.”

_“Oh, Goddammit. I fucking love you more.”_

Yuto can’t wait to get back home and snuggle with his cute little sunshine, under the warm blanket like they always do.

 

;

 

 

“Ryosuke, thank you for believing me.” Yuto says from the living room, his hands busy rummaging over piles of DVD on the floor and choosing the one they’ll watch after dinner tonight.

“Why are you acting like I just met you yesterday? Of course, I believe you. Will always believe in you. You don’t have to explain anything.”

Yuto feels the heavy weight is lifted from his shoulder as he hears that. He approaches Ryosuke who has his hands full with vegetables. A cute red apron wraps around his body perfectly while having his hair slicked all the way back. Yuto is astounded, thinking what a gorgeous person he has as a partner. He mutters his gratitude in silence. 

“Need some help?” Yuto offers to help with the vegetables. Ryosuke nods and continue with his own task. As they cook together for dinner, the sound of knife cutting the vegetable, soup being stirred, and their laughter mixed into one.

Suddenly, the storm and cloudy clouds are cleared. It’s only a day ago Yuto expected something bad to happen when Ryosuke learned about the rumour of Yuto and the “mysterious woman.” However, without Yuto’s consent, Ryosuke already knows who that woman is, having met her two years ago when the previous rumour roamed around about Yuto and her. She explained what a mess Yuto was when he asked for her advice and what a fool Ryosuke was to let down such a beautiful human being like Yuto.

Ryosuke woke up to realisation. That same night after meeting her, he promised he will stop running away. He will stop hurting his own feeling and Yuto’s. Never once he told Yuto about that meeting.

Ryosuke sneaks a look at Yuto who is busy cutting some carrots. He was a fool to waste someone as good as Yuto, really. There’s a tinge of pain forming in his stomach every time he imagines what he could’ve had and done with Yuto if he was never that stupid to let him walk alone in his path. If only he didn’t walk away after Yuto confessed to him. But he knows what’s done is done and nothing he can do now would be able to retrieve the time he has lost.

“What is it that you’re thinking?” Yuto steals a kiss on Ryosuke’s cheek when he catches the latter stunned in his place, as if drowning in the mess of his own thoughts. Ryosuke shakes his head, trying to hide his pinky cheeks. Yuto takes one step ahead to hug Ryosuke tight, and the tighter it gets he feels as if he will lose the person in his embrace. Yuto kisses Ryosuke’s hair, deep, wanting to take away everything with him if that’s the only thing he can do to abstain from losing his beloved person.

“Yama-chan, let’s go to Hawaii, shall we?” He peeks at Ryosuke from behind, and Ryosuke tilts his head to meet Yuto’s. Their height difference somewhat gives off a romantic vibe especially at a time like this.

“Yes, absolutely! Let’s go! Once the promotion for my movie is finished, I’ll have a few days off. We can go on those days!”

Yuto smiles widely hearing that. Judging from the tone, Ryosuke seems to be excited already about the idea of going to Hawaii. It’s been a long time, indeed. They went together to Hawaii as part of school trip when they were in High School. But the memories the two had there was sweet and irreplaceable for them to forget.

Yuto hugs Ryosuke again, craves to feel the warmness even longer. Ryosuke lets Yuto hug him for some time before turning around and snuggles on his chest. He looks up to Yuto, catching those beautiful eyes staring back at him and they both dive in, kisses each other sweetly.

Yuto feels the heat reaching his face when Ryosuke lets out a beautiful moan, as he works his hand on Ryosuke’s back and rubbing it softly. His lips nonstop savouring what they find and preserving the sweetness delivered from the kisses. They’re standing in the middle of a small kitchen, hands enfolding each other, ignoring the call from the pot that’s cooking and the sound of home telephone that starts ringing out of nowhere. 

“Crap. What a mood breaker.” Yuto curses, letting go of Ryosuke’s waist. Ryosuke runs over to reach the telephone. He looks at the caller ID and immediately wants to jump from disbelief.

“Chinen?!!” He screams, while the person he’s addressing laughing away on the other side of the line.

“Chinen??” Yuto yells just the same, shocked at the name Ryosuke has just mentioned.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m back!” Chinen laughs again, and Ryosuke can hear Chinen’s dog barking in the background.

Ryosuke can’t hide his excitement at hearing Chinen’s voice again after a long time. He’s surprised that Chinen didn’t even tell him beforehand about his plan to return to Japan. He goes back and forth while talking to Chinen on the phone and leaving Yuto with his long face in the kitchen.  

Ryosuke jumps to Yuto’s arms when the call’s ended.

“Chinen is back from London!”

“Yeah. And you didn’t even give me chance to talk to him.” Yuto is not impressed, he lets Ryosuke clings to him and not bother to hug him back.

“Ah! I totally forgot about it! I was so surprised there were a lot of things in my head back there. Sorry, Yutti...”

Yuto pouts his lips and stares at Ryosuke closely, pretending to be angry. Well, he can never really get angry to Ryosuke after all. They end up kissing for more, letting another seconds and minutes pass and gone.

 

;  

 

Ryosuke, Chinen, and Yuto went to the same high school in Japan. Then, Chinen decided to pursue his higher education level in England and has been living in England for a few years after graduating from university. The last time Chinen returned to Japan was two years ago for Christmas, and finally they’ll reunite once again soon.

Chinen will be coming for a visit tomorrow. Ryosuke wakes up super early the next morning to list down things he will need to buy from the market. Lucky that he has a day off today and will be able to cook special meal for his best friend who has just returned to Japan. He gets all worked up and thinks that Chinen must be missing Japanese food – especially Ryosuke’s homemade food – so much. Obviously, there are thousands and more Japanese restaurants in England, but the taste of home is something that you can’t get in a foreign country.

Yuto helps Ryosuke in the kitchen, washing vegetables and cutting them, while being scolded repeatedly by Ryosuke who suddenly turns into a perfectionist and mocking all the things he does. Everything must be carefully prepared. All because Ryosuke knows the deal with Chinen. Chinen will mock him even more later if he doesn’t do his job right.

Yuto nods every now and then, trying to cope with Ryosuke’s nags. When their job is finished, including cleaning the house from the ceiling to the floor, Yuto collapsed completely on the sofa. Ryosuke is cleaning the kitchen once again, making sure everything is neat and tidy and there is no stain left anywhere.

The bell rings just as expected. Yuto drags himself to the door and twists the door knob.

“Hi...! Yuto!” Chinen grins from ear to ear and storms over to enter the house. What surprises Yuto more is the person who has come with Chinen. The man smiles at him and just as surprised to end up meeting him again here.

“Ah, here’s my friend, Keito. We met in London and is the only Japanese friend I had when I was a student there. Come on in, Keito.” Chinen is already making himself at home by sitting comfortably on the couch. Momo approaches him and tries to sniff his scent. It’s been years since the last time Chinen came over to Ryosuke’s house. Practically after he left for England. After some time, Momo licks his hand, remembers who is the man sitting on the sofa.

“What a coincidence! He is my friend, too!” Yuto giggles after asking Keito to take his seat. Keito laughs along and the three of them are surprised with what’s happening, magically.

Ryosuke comes out after some time, having changed into a different outfit than the one he wore for cooking.

“Chinen... I’ve missed you dude!” Ryosuke joins Chinen on the couch and hugs him tight. That’s just how close they are. But he is stunned once again as he spots Keito petting his dog.

“Hi, Keito. Did you invite Keito over, Yuto?”

“I’m just magically being Chinen’s and Yuto’s friend. I’m not sure how did I end up here...”

They all laugh once again while Ryosuke is still drowning in confusion.

“Oh well, by the way Chinen, Ryosuke has officially become my wife.” Suddenly Yuto snaps before Ryosuke could utter anything.

“Cheeky! You guys never told me anything about this! When did you two get married?” Chinen throws a smirk directed to both Yuto and Ryosuke, while Keito keeps giggling in his seat. Ryosuke’s cheeks turn red when Yuto approaches him and peck him on the cheek.

“Well, we want this to be a surprise. This is thanks to you for setting us up in the past, Chinen.”

“Shut up, Yutti. We are not married.” Ryosuke steps on Yuto’s feet, his ears are now turning red too when he feels arms wrapping around his body from behind.

“Yet. We will, won’t we?”

An understanding smile painted on Chinen’s face.

“Good. You guys have come a long way.”

They engage themselves in long talks that day, discussing about works and life, and love life. Not quite a surprise, Chinen is still the same single man they’ve always known. Not that no women want to go near him, but Chinen is the one who wants no one. And it’s a good thing because even then he is still leading a good and healthy life and goes for gym at least once a week. Keito on the other hand, is one mysterious man they’ve yet to discover. If one thing, it’s quite odd for a man as stunning as him to be single. But he won’t say anything about his love life, so they drop the matter right away.

Apparently, Chinen will be staying in Japan for some time before returning to England. For the next few days, he goes visiting temples and places he has missed for years. Sad enough for Ryosuke, he is still super busy with movie promotions and interviews. No time for vacation yet before his projects are done.

 

;

 

One morning, Ryosuke wakes up and knocks his head on his bedroom door, which sends Yuto running towards him and gets all scared if his precious darling is hurt anywhere. Ryosuke shrugs and heads out for the kitchen instead. He opens all the kitchen cabinets only to find none of the things he is looking for.

“Yama-chan... what are you looking for?”

Ryosuke scratches the back of his head while closing the cupboards with the other hand. He draws a sigh, “I just remember that tomorrow is Chinen’s birthday. Dammit. I run out of ingredients for baking.”

Yuto walks towards Ryosuke and hugs him from behind in attempt to calm him down.

“You can just buy a cake at the bakery. You won’t have time to make it today, right?”

“No way. I’m going to make it. I still can make it if you’re willing to cooperate with me.” Ryosuke gushes out from Yuto’s arms and turns to look at him with pleading eyes. Yuto doesn’t quite get what Ryosuke means though, so he nods and kisses Ryosuke on the cheek, giving him confirmation that he’s willing to help.

“Alright. So... You buy the ingredients for me since your photoshoot will be in the afternoon. I’ll finish my interview in the afternoon before you leave. I’ll come home to bake the cake. Um, I will write down everything you need to buy, and... also the pictures of the products I always buy. Okay?”

Yuto smiles, inches closer and teases him, “Did you forget the magic word?”

Ryosuke frowns. He should’ve calculated much earlier that Yuto won’t do a thing without being promised a reward. Ryosuke kisses him on the cheek, sweetly as he lingers on Yuto’s cheek for around two seconds before whispering in his ear, “Please...I will give you something sweet tonight.”

Yuto snickers, and it’s a deal he will sacrifice all his life for.

 

;

 

Yuto walks back and forth at the baking section of a supermarket while looking at his phone. He takes one by one, things that Ryosuke has instructed him to buy. It’s not a surprise that Ryosuke is excellent at cooking, but Yuto is surprised that Ryosuke knows so much about baking too. He wonders if Ryosuke had ever taken any baking lesson in the past. As long as he remembers, both of them were always busy, just as how they are now. Perhaps Ryosuke learns all from the internet, that’s his only assumption.

When Yuto gets home with both hands full of grocery, Ryosuke immediately greets him with a big smile, adorning his face like beautiful accessories.

“Welcome home!”

Yuto stands in awe at the sight in front of him. A cute apron wrapping around Ryosuke’s body. It looks so perfect on him. Mix of thoughts are flooding Yuto’s mind. If only his hands are not occupied with groceries, he would’ve taken lots of pictures right now. Or he would’ve crushed onto him and sniffs his exotic perfume, running his fingers all over his body.

“Quit looking at me like that. Are you imagining some dirty things there?” Ryosuke snaps, taking the things from Yuto.

“I just think... it’s so cute. You’re so cute. Wait, what makes you think I was imagining dirty things?” Yuto snickers, and follows Ryosuke to the kitchen.

“I... I just, thought you do. Cause you’re a pervert!”

Yuto only smirks from where he is standing, thinking that yes, it’s partially true that he is a pervert who is imagining dirty things right now. But it’s all because of Ryosuke. He’s already too cute to handle, and now the level is exceeded when a bright pink apron oriented with strawberry patterns wrapping his slim body. What makes him cuter, though, is the way he uses hairclips to clip his bangs to the side.

Ryosuke looks away, realising that Yuto is checking him out from head to toe.

“Go away you pervert!”

Yuto smiles once again before blowing a kiss to Ryosuke. He needs to go, indeed. His manager has called him earlier to remind him about his photoshoot.

“I love you.”

Ryosuke has turned his back at him when those words escape Yuto’s mouth, and he can’t help from smiling so big at hearing that. He feels like the most precious person on earth to be confessed to. So much happiness he feels that he wants to cry. He turns around to return Yuto’s air kiss.

_“I love you so much it’s killing me.”_

 

;

 

The minutes turn into hours, and the day turns into night. Ryosuke has finished his task on making a special cake for Chinen, and now it’s time to wait for Yuto to come home and they’ll drive to Chinen’s house to surprise him.

The clock seems to be running so slowly as Ryosuke waits on. When Yuto finally arrives home, he is already fast asleep on the couch.

Yuto takes his chance to admire Ryosuke’s face and the beautiful lines on it, each aligns perfectly. He shakes Ryosuke a little after planting a kiss on his temple.

“Yama-chan, we need to go...”

Ryosuke gradually moves his body as he feels warm breath on his neck and Yuto’s soft voice in his ears.

“Yutti...”

“Hmm...?”

Ryosuke opens his eyes and finds Yuto’s face so close to him. He pulls Yuto’s shirt down and smile softly before giving him a subtle kiss on the lips.

“Welcome home.”

Yuto’s heart beats so fast.

_“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.”_

“I’m home.”

They look at each other before leaning in for another kiss. Ryosuke pushes Yuto after a few wet kisses, deciding to get up and prepare to leave. He shows the cake to Yuto, and Yuto almost can’t help himself from launching his finger at the precious cake. Fortunately, Ryosuke is much quicker to stop him. They proceed to call Keito and pick him up from his house before heading over to Chinen’s house.

 

;

 

Around 20 minutes later, they’ve arrived at the neighbourhood area where Chinen resides. Ryosuke takes the cake and walks out of the car. They walk quietly towards Chinen’s house. Ryosuke holds the box of cake in his hands. After they arrive in front of Chinen’s house, they take the cake out of the box and light up the candles.

“You guys ready?” Keito turns to look at the two people who have finished lighting up the candles.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Keito press the bell and moves beside Ryosuke.

Few seconds later, the door’s opened by none other than Chinen Yuri, wearing a pajama and holding a book in one hand. He’s surprised by the sight in front of him. The candles light up their surrounding and the three people begin to sing a birthday song to him.

“You guys...” He covers his face with his hands at how surprised he is, to see three people standing in front of his house in the middle of the night. Plus, holding a delicious looking cake with his name on it.

As they enter Chinen’s house, they’re immediately greeted by his dog, Haku. Everything is still the same as how they looked on Yuto and Ryosuke’s last visit two years ago.

“Chinen, happy birthday.” Ryosuke says, standing in front of Chinen with a cake in his hands. The candles are shining so beautifully, illuminating the atmosphere around them.

“Happy birthday, Chi-chan!” Yuto pats him on the head and Chinen pouts slightly at the gesture, because Yuto always does that to remark the fairly huge height difference between them.

“Happy birthday, Chinen! Thank you for being my friend all these time!” Keito exclaims afterwards, a sweet smile drawn on his face.

Ryosuke bursts into laugh. “Dang, Keito. You sound so lonely!”

They all laugh, and Keito just follows suit, laughing together with them.

“Well, you have all of us now, Keito!” Chinen pats Keito and smiles at him reassuringly.

The candles are beginning to melt. Ryosuke urges Chinen to say his wishes. They exchange smile as Chinen closes his eyes to wish. A few seconds later Chinen opens his eyes and blow the candles off. They all cheer for the good 24 years Chinen has gone through, and for more glorious days to come.

This is the first time Chinen gets to celebrate his birthday together with his childhood friends after spending many years abroad. No words can describe the joy he feels by seeing the smiles on his beloved friends’ faces. Especially looking at how Yuto and Ryosuke, he’s thankful that after such storms they’re able to make up and live together now. Life gets better. There is nothing more Chinen could ever wish for them.

The night feels longer than they’ve expected. The four people keep drinking away their stress, raising glass after glass and let the alcohol overtake them. Yuto sits on the floor with Yamada who’s still holding his glass with one hand.

“Yama-chan, can I have a moment?”

“What is it?”

Yuto doesn’t answer Ryosuke’s question right away. Instead, he signals Chinen for a permission and drags the nearly drunken Ryosuke somewhere.

“Where are we going, Yuto?” Ryosuke clings himself onto Yuto’s strong arms before being carried to a room. The smell of burning candle greets their noses immediately. Yuto carries Ryosuke and put him down on the bed. Ryosuke is too drunk to think what business they could have in such place and the effects that could result from it. All he knows is, neither him or Yuto can drive back home right now when the alcohol is running in their veins and owns them completely.

Instead, they’re being driven towards a long journey they’re going to experience tonight.

 

;


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuto incidentally hurts Ryosuke by mistake, and as an exchange Ryosuke wants to test how far Yuto will go.  
> It backfires, somehow.  
> Although sometimes precious lessons are learned the hard way.

 

 

_“I’m so afraid of losing you. How would I be without you?”_

Ryosuke wakes up accompanied by immense pain around his bottom part. He is still lying in someone’s bed, can’t even recall a single thing about how did he end up on the bed at all. The room looks familiar to him, especially the smell. Soon, he regains his consciousness and tries to trace back to the previous hours. About how he suddenly wakes up like a blushing virgin after his first night with someone. Obviously, it’s got something to do with his significant other. He hasn’t forgotten that Yuto is his boyfriend. Just, what the hell did Yuto do _to_ him. Or, with him. That sounds more like it.

While still suppressing the throbbing pain in his ass, Ryosuke gets up from the bed and put on his boxer pants, which is lying motionlessly on the ground. The thought of Yuto stripping him naked is crowding his mind. He must be too drunk last night to not realise what he let Yuto do to him.

He reaches out for the door and his eyes immediately spot Yuto and Keito, each of them wearing an apron. The sizzling sound erupted from the frying pan that’s being handled by Keito. Beside him is Yuto watching him in awe.

“Yuto! Come here will you?!” Ryosuke disrupts the silence that fills the air with his yowl, and immediately Yuto turns to look at Yamada standing a few feet from where he is standing.

“Yama-chan! My darling, good morning!” Yuto approaches Ryosuke closer, hands still wrapped with gloves and eyes shining bright like he has found his most precious treasure.

Ryosuke response to Yuto’s sweet greeting by glaring at him. “What the hell did you do to me?!” Ryosuke says it quietly enough but his tone weighs both anger and curiosity. Yuto almost gasps hearing Ryosuke’s words.

“Eh, are you, okay?” Yuto takes a step ahead in attempt to reach for Ryosuke’s arms when he’s being stopped midway.

“How do you still dare asking that after what you’ve done to me??” By this time, it looks like the monster in Ryosuke’s body has been unleashed, but at the same time he looks like he is about to cry. Yuto’s heart breaks into a million pieces.

“Yama-chan... I’m really, really, sorry... I think I went a little rough. Oh my, shall we go and have a check on... it?” Yuto stutters, never stop bowing and wearing his pleading eyes in front of Ryosuke who is still hissing in pain.

Somehow, the scene triggers Ryosuke to hold Yuto in his arms and tells him that he’s okay. It is painful, yes, but probably he’s exaggerating the situation. It’s just been quite a while since they had a “real sex.” Yuto is good at experimenting with stuffs, but recently Ryosuke has been busy with works and would look really exhausted every time he’s back from work. For that reasons, perhaps Yuto has been saving his ideas until the last.

“That’s... okay. Just, don’t get near me.” Literally, his mind is saying, _“I consider this as a present for finishing my projects. But still, fuck you Nakajima.”_

Yuto’s jaw drop at Ryosuke’s command. “That is totally not okay...!!”

A smirk pointed across Ryosuke’s face. He’s safe for now.

 

;

 

“Are you sure this is okay? Yuto might think you’re really mad at him, you know.” Chinen sips his drink, but drawing his attention to a book that he’s been reading instead of Ryosuke.

“That’s okay. Let that guy learn his lesson. That thing really hurt, you know.”

“I don’t want to know.” Chinen snickers.

Ryosuke laughs at that. Now, that’s a sign that he’s really okay.

“Anyway, how’s your movie, Yama-chan?” Chinen has finished reading his book, finally, and looks up to Ryosuke.

“It’s great. That was a surreal experience. I learnt a lot from it.” Ryosuke pauses for a bit before continuing, “And, you know what?”

“What?”

“My next drama project is going to be with Yuto! Well, it’s not yet confirmed... But there’s a high chance for it.” Ryosuke claps his hands together and makes a praying gesture.

“Wow. That’s awesome! Yuto doesn’t know about it yet?”

“Apparently, not yet. The producer approached me, saying that he was still looking for an actor to fill the other major character’s role. But he mentioned Yuto as the first actor that came to his mind. That gives me hope. I said yes right away.”

“Hum... I see... You’re being too obvious, Ryosuke. Be careful. The industry can be so cruel. You don’t want to get into trouble by sticking too much to Yuto.” Chinen says in his low voice.

Ryosuke knows the deal with it.

He nods, and Chinen can read a strike of fear on his best friend’s face. That gives him a tremendous amount of pain, but what breaks him more is to realise that he can help nothing.

 

;

 

Yuto is sitting on his bed, flipping through the pages of a photo album. Unlike the usual Friday nights where he would be out with Ryosuke, tonight he’s forced to stay home. All because Ryosuke hasn’t contacted him ever since the “tragedy” at Chinen’s house.

He sighs, looking at his pictures with Ryosuke and noticing the big smiles that they bear in each of them. _“Happy days...”_ He thought.

There are some pictures from when they visited Miyajima Island and stayed overnight at the ryokan. Ryosuke was so happy after finishing his drama filming and Yuto too had a few days off from his modelling work. He took lots of pictures, all of them turn into good ones. All because a picture can never go wrong when it has Ryosuke in it.

 

However, the more he looks deeper into those smiles, negative thoughts slowly invade his mind. He realises how much he misses Ryosuke’s touch. He misses Ryosuke’s voice that used to serenade into the night and take him to the highest height. He misses Ryosuke’s smile that warms his heart as soon as he perceives it. He misses Ryosuke’s homemade miso soup and how heavenly it tastes. It may sound simple, but it has been his source of energy for the past few years being in a relationship with Ryosuke. He misses that small figure that holds so much charisma. Those strong arms that always hold him tight, those eyes that hypnotise him, and kind words that always make everything right. He misses everything so bad that a form of tears starts falling.

 

_So, this is love?_

 

Sometimes, Yuto finds himself surrounded with questions. What is it that he feels, why is it that Ryosuke’s presence is so important to him, and what will he do if one day he is forced to let go of everything.

Does Ryosuke even feel the same way? Say, if Yuto were to ask Ryosuke to run away with him, will Ryosuke go with him?

A storm of questions is attacking Yuto from every direction, makes him unable to think clearly. Despair envelops him from the inside. Only the constant what-ifs evolving in his brain.

 

_“I’m so afraid of losing you. How would I be without you?”_

 

;

 

Rain is pondering outside, but the pair of legs make it to the front of someone’s door. Hand knocks on it, once, twice, and repeat for a few more times. Soon enough the door is opened, and a figure appears in front of him.

“Yuto?!”

Those strong arms of Ryosuke taking Yuto’s body; that is soaked completely, with ease. It’s almost like they’re made for each other. Ryosuke doesn’t stop muttering, _“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”_ and, _“You’ll catch a cold, stupid!”_ while helping Yuto to dry his hair and change his clothes. Luckily, Yuto has a few pairs of garment left in Ryosuke’s apartment.

Yuto mutters a gratitude for being taken care of. But his eyes are looking down, it’s as if he can’t bear looking straight at Ryosuke. Ryosuke feels like he has done yet another terrible thing to a person of whom he claims as his “most beloved one.”

“Is this how you were back then, Yuto? When I ran away from you all those time...? I’m really sorry...” Ryosuke begins to sob while gripping on Yuto’s arm tightly.

“Is this how you too, when you came to my door that night? You were also drenched in rain and crying so much...” Yuto takes Ryosuke into his embrace. So tight. The space around them starts to sink and their feelings overcome each other, almost overwhelming.

“I don’t want to lose you...” Yuto mumbles. His words turn into a whisper, feeling Ryosuke’s heat transferred into his body.

“Hush... Don’t say anymore...”

 

 _What is love?_ The two souls are embracing each other and questioning themselves. It stays, right there in their hearts, the will to be strong and to seek what they’re looking for. Be it harboured in happiness or devastation, they only know how to love. No matter what the answer is.

 

 ;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry I can't keep up with own promise. >.<  
> It's been a while since the last update, I hope you don't mind it....  
> This is my last chapter -and fic- before 2018.  
> Let's hope I would be more motivated and productive next year! There are tons of things I would like to learn too, so I am really trying to organize my time and make the most of it.  
> Wishing everyone a happy and cheerful new year! See you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuto indeed doesn’t get to open Ryosuke’s fridge before Valentine’s day. And Ryosuke doesn't know what Yuto is plotting. The homemade chocolate is one. Yuto has one more surprise he can’t wait for Ryosuke to hear of it.

 

 

 _“I love you_. _I don’t know how, and why. I just happen to love you. I just do._

_I love you.”_

;

 

 _Click_.

Ryosuke is lying on his bed as another faint sound erupted from above him, a camera shutter barely audible to wake him. Again, and again it rings. Someone is hovering on top of him with a smile forming on the corner of his lips; making the little scar that adorns his lips to stand out. He stays still where he is, examining the pictures he has just taken. A melody is winding in his mind, as he takes his time to admire yet another set of precious pictures he can’t wait to print out and add to his secret collection.

Soon after, the man below him shifts his body and his beautiful eyelashes slowly revealing his adorable-looking eyes right in the first morning. A soft smile is unveiled as he says, “good morning.”  

Yuto leans his body to the side to shoot from different angle. Ryosuke’s side view is captured by his lens now. Yuto swears he can hear his own racing heartbeat upon discerning a sight too bewitching it’s almost unreal. He can’t endure it any longer. Taking pictures of someone as beautiful as Ryosuke can be excruciatingly painful when it drags on for too long. Yuto puts his camera down on the bedside table and joins beside Ryosuke then, spreading his arms and wraps Ryosuke in his arms while pressing a few kisses on his cheeks.

That’s how the day started in Yamada Ryosuke and Nakajima Yuto’s household. Or maybe not yet.

“Let’s sleep again. The outside world is very cold!”

A huge lie as the warmness of Yuto’s breath trails across Ryosuke’s face, finally makes its way to Ryosuke’s lips. Ryosuke accepts Yuto’s lips gladly, not taking further move however as he wants to see what Yuto will do next. Yuto’s fingers are sinking in the tangle of Ryosuke’s hair, gradually pulling his head forward to deepen the kiss.

“I love you...”

Ryosuke is enjoying the touches he’s given, eyes closed and sighs here and there as Yuto leaves some wet kisses along the way, yet careful enough to choose the areas that can be hidden under the garment.

“Why are you so extra in the morning... Yutti...”

“You don’t like it?” Yuto stops abruptly in his way and looks at Ryosuke with concern in his eyes. He has learned his lesson from his last blunder and pledged to be more mindful at what he does. Especially when he gets too excited on bed.

“It’s not that. I’m just wondering where you get all those bundles of energy from. And, I love you too, Yutti.”

Ryosuke finally says them, followed with a chuckle, but his eyes shine as if confirming to Yuto his veracious claim. “Love,” a word he sometimes thinks is too cheesy to describe his feelings, and over time he keeps wondering what’s a stronger word he can use to show the extent of his emotion. Though, his search has been in vain. He’s not a poetic man after all.

The clock is ticking, accompanying them in this cold winter morning. Yuto snuggles closer to Ryosuke, attempting to hide his blushing cheeks at Ryosuke’s confession. He doesn’t expect to be this sheepish over a confession from someone he has dated for a long time. He just smiles along and let the inner child inside him set free, jumping around on the snow, feeling overjoyed of being loved.

 

;

 

Ryosuke is now in the kitchen, still in his oversized sweater and messy locks. He scoops a spoonful of miso paste and dilutes it with some of the boiling water before mixing it into the pot of tofu and seaweed. The aroma is released and filled the space. Yuto emerges from the bedroom beaming a smile towards Ryosuke’s direction. Ryosuke’s dog greets him halfway, and Yuto squats down to pet her.

“Breakfast is almost ready. You can have yours first. I still need to change my...”

Yuto catches him with a sweet kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll wait for you.”

Both arms are wrapping around Ryosuke’s body, gradually getting tighter as Yuto’s hand reaches for Ryosuke’s.

“Okay. Then, I’ll need to hurry.” Ryosuke turns the stove off and turns around to push Yuto away, a sneaky smile pointed across his face. Yuto just smirks back, presumably plotting things in his head.

 “Ah... Why is Tokyo so cold today...” Yuto sighs as he looks out of the window. Spotting the visible pile of snow, he adjusts his scarf.

A while later, Ryosuke emerges from the bedroom wrapped up warmly in a brown coloured coat and a matching scarf of similar colour with Yuto’s.

“Couple scarfs?” Yuto says, pointing a smile.

“This was your idea.”

“Let’s go shopping together again next time!” Yuto inches closer to Ryosuke and helps him to adjust his scarf.

“Why are you always looking so cute no matter what you wear?” Yuto moves forward, aiming for Ryosuke’s cheek before Ryosuke acts faster on it and Yuto’s lips meet with his hand instead.

“You’re always kissing me!”

“How can I not? I mean, you smell so good, and... kissable-”

Yuto laughs at his own words awkwardly as Ryosuke escapes from him before his ramble gets any weirder. He makes his way to the kitchen and set the food on the dining table.

“Let’s eat!”

...

“Yuto. I’m sorry.” Were the words that come out from Ryosuke’s lips after his first bite of rice.

“What for?” Yuto glances to look at Ryosuke, wondering if there’s anything up in the latter’s head that he suddenly apologizes. It’s still fresh in his mind, the grim memory of their fight not long ago. It was something stupid that resulted in an unsettling situation. Yuto vows to never repeat such history.

“About the new drama...” Ryosuke raises his head, a tint of sadness lingers on his face.

“That’s okay. I didn’t even audition for that.” Yuto chuckles, carries on with his food and not forgetting to praise how good the miso soup tastes.

“Yeah, but there was no audition in the first place. I thought they were going to choose you after they talked so much about you. But...” There is a force in Ryosuke’s tone, almost like a child who’s in grieve after losing his lollipop.

“We can’t have everything, right? Let’s hope we get to act together again next time. Who knows, there’s always next time.” Yuto smiles reassuringly, raising his thumb in the air.

“Um... yeah...”

The expression in Ryosuke’s face gradually changes. Even if it’s small-scale, there is hope.

“But...” Yuto continues, changing his tone and locking his stare with Ryosuke’s.

“But?”

“But there’s one thing that I can’t wait for next time.”

Ryosuke chuckles, he doesn’t know what to expect next.

“I can’t wait to love you next time. I want to love you now. At this moment. Yeah... Oh God, that sounds so cheesy.”

There is no helping it.

“Do you just realise you’re always being cheesy?”

Yuto snickers at his partner, seeing the pinkish glow radiating on his cheeks.

Love is a strange thing.

 

;

 

Traces of chocolate and cocoa powder are here and there on Ryosuke’s exposed skin and sleeves. His hands are running in chaos to mix the ingredients and reach for the others. His eyes are fixated on his phone that’s lying atop the kitchen counter. Some books are scattered around, most of them are recipe books about baking and pastry. Just like an artist concentrating on his painting, Ryosuke is pouring all his heart and soul for his creation. A while later, he sighs when he’s finally done with his project. He just needs to make sure no one finds out about the chocolate he has made, especially Yuto.

To celebrate Valentine’s day, Ryosuke has made special homemade chocolate for Chinen, Keito, some of his friends, and the crew at his drama filming. Also, one is made specially for Yuto. One that took the most time and effort to shape perfectly. Ryosuke is not an expert specifically at baking, but he did his best.

A smile lingers on his lips as he stuffs his many containers of chocolate inside the fridge and cover them up with the rest of his food supply. Before Valentine’s day comes, the fridge is forbidden for Yuto to get his hands on.

 

;

 

Meanwhile, on the other side of Tokyo, Yuto is messing himself with the same ingredients. Not just his shirts and trousers, thanks to his cooking skill Yuto has managed to knock down an entire bowl of cocoa powder. The floor is gracefully covered in cocoa powder now. Fortunately, he bought an extra package of cocoa powder. He seems to have foreseen this happening. He paces left and right from his phone to the mixing bowl, calculating the amount of each ingredient he pours in. Unsure about every single step he does, Yuto makes a prayer circle by himself. There is a hope, yes, even if it’s a little as his last container of chocolate is sealed and enters the fridge. Yuto heaves a sigh in relief, is too excited to let his loved ones and his most beloved one to taste his first homemade chocolate.

 

;

 

Yuto indeed doesn’t get to open Ryosuke’s fridge before Valentine’s day. And Ryosuke doesn't know what Yuto is plotting. The homemade chocolate is one. Yuto has one more surprise he can’t wait for Ryosuke to hear of it.

The sparkle in Ryosuke’s eyes are glowing stunningly. He waits on until the doorbell roams around his apartment and runs a little for the door like a puppy getting all worked up to greet his master.

Yuto’s smile are always affectionate and reassuring, the kind of smile that can melt even the coldest heart. His embraces are always the warmest, of which Ryosuke is caged perfectly within. His touches are the most delicate, like falling cherry blossom that greets the skin. His words are the kindest, swaying in the ears like a lullaby in cold, rainy nights.

But most of all, Yuto is Yuto. The imperfections that perfect him are what making him who he is. And Ryosuke loves the imperfect, silly yet serious Yuto who has taken him hostage for years and more to come. Love is but a strange thing to unravel, indeed. 

The warm embrace envelopes Ryosuke once again, tighter and tighter, every time it tastes like the first day of spring after a long freezing winter.

“Happy Valentine’s day, darling.” Yuto whispers in Ryosuke’s ear.

“Happy Valentine’s day to you, too.” Ryosuke looks up and a kiss is landed on his temple. It was soft, full of affection. The lights in Ryosuke’s heart is lit up, gleaming within him. A smile is offered before Yuto withdraws and takes out something from the pocket of his long coat.

“I made this special for you.” Yuto grins shyly as Ryosuke reaches out for the small package in Yuto’s hand.

“You made... what? What is this?” The excitement arises as Ryosuke confirms to Yuto whether he can unwrap the package now.

Yuto can’t hide his blushing cheeks when Ryosuke gasps at what he captures.

“Yutti...! How did you make this??” Ryosuke opens the container and spots bite size strawberry shaped chocolate filling the container. He can’t stop his hands from taking a bite. Yuto laughs at what Ryosuke does, over the years he has come to understand Ryosuke’s love for strawberries.

“How is it?” Yuto attempts to take one for himself but Ryosuke stops him before he succeeds.  
“It’s so sweet...Thank you for making this, Yutti.” Ryosuke gives him a peck on the cheek and take yet another chocolate.

If Ryosuke was to be honest, the chocolate tastes too sweet for his liking. But it’s Yuto’s first try at making chocolate and Ryosuke is much delighted with them. Especially because Yuto poured all his heart and soul into making them.

“That’s good. The kitchen turned into a complete mess, you know.” Yuto laughs, and Ryosuke is astounded, being reminded of why exactly he loves this man so much.

Ryosuke suddenly remembers of his own chocolate then, as he leaves for the kitchen to take them out from the fridge.

“My turn! This one is for you!” Ryosuke yells on his way and passes the box to Yuto. Yuto makes a face of a little kid who gets excited for a present and he opens the box to much of his surprise. Ryosuke has done a really good job at shaping the chocolate... into a freaking camera.

Yuto shrieks at what he has just witnessed there and then.

“This! Oh my... How did you do this, Yama-chan??” Yuto’s eyes are glistening, pure disbelief at the sight in front of him. He then proceeds to take his real camera and snaps some pictures from different angles. Leaving Ryosuke sighing at the usual intimate scene of Yuto and his camera.

“Actually, I have one more present for you.” Yuto says as he examines the camera shaped chocolate intently.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah... But due to several reasons, I can’t give it to you now.” Yuto makes a sad face, but somehow Ryosuke can almost smell something fishy out of it.

“Awh, why...? What is it?”

“If I tell you now, then it will no longer be a surprise!” Yuto chuckles, re-wrapping the chocolate and put it back carefully inside the container. There is 99.9% chance Yuto is not going to eat it. How can you destroy something too beautiful after all?

“You’re right... And you’re making me curious!” Ryosuke crosses his hands in front of him, fixing his eyes on Yuto.

“Well, give me a week. I’ll get it done in a week’s time.”

“What, are you making a statue for me?” Ryosuke breaks into laugh. He’s indeed curious now as Yuto is obviously hiding something from him. Knowing Yuto, it can be anything. And that anything isn’t always the safest thing.

“It’s something... bigger.” Yuto makes a gesture while grinning endlessly at his own words.

“Bigger? What do you mean?”

“Endure your curiousity for a week. I promise I’ll get back to you.”

Yuto pushes Ryosuke on the sofa in attempt to avert the topic, assuring Ryosuke it’s a good surprise that he can’t wait to unfold. When Yuto’s hand moves down south, Ryosuke knows he can’t say no more. His mouth has gone dry, only the voice in his head are letting out his desperate mumble.

 

“ _Yuto, I love you_. _I don’t know how, and why. I just happen to love you. I just do._

_I love you.”_

 

;

 

With that, the days pass ever so slowly for both Ryosuke and Yuto. Yuto stays over at Ryosuke’s twice that week. Friday night comes around and Ryosuke cooks a special steak dinner for two. To show his gratitude, – and being the cheeky boyfriend he is - he offers Ryosuke some massage before the ‘game.’ The night turns warmer in Yuto’s squeeze, before Yuto whispers on Ryosuke’s ear hazily.

“Ryosuke.”

“Hmm...?”

It seems that Yuto’s massage is far too comforting that Ryosuke is falling asleep.

“The day will finally come tomorrow.”

Yuto is still on top of Ryosuke, pushing him with his height and start kissing Ryosuke’s beautiful body delicately.

“What day...?”

Ryosuke is fed with sensations, fuelling, raging into power as their skins are crashing into each other. Then, the next words that erupt from Yuto’s mouth confuse Ryosuke amidst the blazing fire.

“The day I’m moving in.”

 

;

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the super late update. :(  
> I've been so busy with life, yeah. My forever excuse... but I'm trying to catch up with everything and all those words actually had been forming inside my head way before Valentine's day. I hope it doesn't feel awkward to read it now. Well, let's spread love every day!  
> By the way, what does Yuto mean by moving in? Is Yuto finally moving in with Ryosuke? Are you as excited as I am to discover what this truly mean???  
> Please join in the comment section about how much you're excited about this!  
> >.<  
> And I'll be back soon! MUCH LOVE for always reading and supporting me. <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days turn warmer as cherry blossoms appear one by one to unleash their beauty. But somehow the days turn cold instead for Yuto, who’s been trying to reach out to Ryosuke who is supposed to be within his reach.  
> Just one stair away. But now it feels like they’re getting even farther and further away from each other.  
> Yuto hopes he isn't too late to make things right again. For we all live in a beautiful yet tragically short life.

 

_“If it’s not you, will it be okay? Will I be okay?”_

;

The moon shines bright, resurrecting the desire in humans’ minds. The heat and hunger go on and on, as the night lingers like forever in each other’s touch, sweet, yet suffocating.

However, there’s always an end for everything in this world.

…

Yuto yawns loudly as he looks at his own reflection in the mirror. He has a matter or two to explain to Ryosuke. Yuto nearly broke the mood last night, as he was trying to tell Ryosuke something so confidential in the middle of their ‘game’. As soon as he exits the bathroom, a glimpse of Ryosuke catches his attention. _‘Now is the right time.’_ He murmurs under his breath.

“Yama-chan…” Yuto approaches Ryosuke who’s busy putting a piece of fish into the oven.

“Hmm…?”

Ryosuke hums without turning his back, continues to sing along to a song that’s been playing from his phone. It’s playing Sayonara Elegy by Suda Masaki.

“Eh, I didn’t know you like this song.” Yuto takes a breath instead, seems like it’s not truly the right time to bring up the topic.

“Well, I surprisingly like this song. And it’s Suda-chan who sings it!” Ryosuke laughs cheekily. He seems to be in high energy today. Turns out the massage Yuto gave last night worked perfectly to eliminate his fatigue.

“Since when have you been calling him Suda-chan?” Yuto pretends to grumble, playing along with Ryosuke’s cheery presence.

“Since forever ago? How did you not realise it when we attended his birthday party last time?” Ryosuke laughs again. Just then, a sound erupted from the oven. The fish is done and they’re perfect for breakfast.

Yuto looks at Ryosuke from across the table. He looks so cute while munching on his meal and giving his expression at how good his tamago gohan is. A truly Japanese guy he is.

“You know, I wasn’t kidding last night.” Finally, Yuto says it out loud since he can’t help it anymore.

“About?” Ryosuke takes a sip of his miso soup, and once again he smiles with eyes closed. His expression interrupts Yuto’s mind. Yuto puts his chopsticks down and re-arrange the words in his head.

“I’ve decided to move.”

There was a silence. Now Yuto realises, Ryosuke probably didn’t hear him at all last night.

“Move? Where are you moving to?” Ryosuke gazes at Yuto, giving him a surprised look.

“Um…, I’m moving downstairs.”

Yuto knows his words don’t seem to make sense at all as Ryosuke withdraws himself from his food and now throws a concerned look at Yuto.

“What do you mean?”

“Alright… I know you’re as confused as I am. Like I said, I’m moving from my old apartment. And soon I’ll be your neighbour. I’m gonna live just one stair away… from you.” Yuto says excitedly, his heart bouncing up and down.

“Huh? Are you serious?” Ryosuke tries to wind down, not fully grasping what’s going on.

“You didn’t tell me about it! What kind of joke is this?” Ryosuke can’t conceal his laugh. He bursts into laughter, and Yuto joins him before speaking again.

“I was going to tell you this on Valentine’s Day, but there were still things needed to be taken care of. Anyway, Yama-chan… I’ll finally be closer to you. I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Shut up. You’re only moving downstairs!”

“But at least it’s much closer now. I can come up whenever I…, we want.” Yuto smirks, continuing. “Don’t you like the sound of it? Or… you want me to move here instead?”

Ryosuke’s eyes are on him, soft, almost read like a plea. Without realising, Yuto has gone deep into those eyes.

…

 

There are a lot of things going on ever since Yuto moved to his new place. What’s the most evident is about how often Yuto goes up to Ryosuke’s floor with a smile dangling on his face. Or how often Ryosuke will go down with some things, from vegetable, fruits, to household goods. Ryosuke insists he will help Yuto with cleaning now as he lives much closer. And, partly because he can’t stand having to make out in a messy living room.

Yuto’s kitchen is practically Ryosuke’s second kitchen now and he is having so much fun with it. Yuto clearly knows his boyfriend loves all things cooking, and he won’t mind spending money lavishly on kitchen appliances and baking utensils.

Life is a good. Being alive is a blessing.

As the curtains reveal another day, with bright sunshine and warm morning kisses, Yuto looks deep into Ryosuke’s brown eyes. It hits him every time. There is a feeling, much bigger, bearing a mass much heavier than the word he’s been saying since day one. Love.  He needs a stronger word than that to depict what he feels. But after all he knows he’s never good at words, and with that he takes Ryosuke in his arms at last. Vowing to himself to prove his words.

Love is good. And being in love is a blessing.

 

;

 

“Keito…”

“I… I love… you.”

“Do you… love me too?”

“You know, I need a stronger word than that. Ugh.”

A giggle is erupted from the other person, while the next words are coming out from the latter.

“Will you-” “Keito, please listen to me properly, will you?”

Keito can’t keep calm anymore. He bursts into laughter just by hearing Yuto saying those words to him. Yuto turns red at his own words. He never thought confessing his feelings properly can be this hard.

Just as Yuto is trying to open his mouth once again, the front door is opened and Ryosuke emerges from it, making Yuto jumps to his feet.

“Ya, Yama-chan?! You surprised me!” Yuto stutters, Ryosuke is still standing by the door with his conceal-don’t-feel expression.

“ _You_ were the one who gave me _the_ key. Oh, hi Keito.” He says casually, walks over to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator, putting some vegetables inside.

“Hi Yama-chan! Ahh that’s so nice for you guys to live so close to each other. I’m jealous of you two!” Keito sighs deeply, hugging a cushion in his arms.

“Then go find yourself a girlfriend or something!” Yuto titters, still feeling a little unsure about what he should say to Ryosuke. He can feel Ryosuke’s cold stare even from far distance.

“I thought you’ve got yourself the one, Keito?” Ryosuke snaps, ignoring Yuto completely.

“Me? I’m a loner for life! It will be nice to have one, really.”

Keito chortles a little, while Yuto walks closer to Ryosuke with his worried look. It seems Ryosuke gets the wrong idea of the whole situation.

Well, he’s not the one to blame.

 

…

 

The days turn warmer as cherry blossoms appear one by one to unleash their beauty. But somehow the days turn cold instead for Yuto, who’s been trying to reach out to Ryosuke who is supposed to be within his reach. Just one stair away. But now it feels like they’re getting even farther and further away from each other.

On the upper floor, Ryosuke carries on with his busy schedule, telling himself he has no time for heartbreak. But when it rains, it pours. He gradually feels sick of saying he isn’t hurt when he absolutely is.

Ryosuke wonders in his silence, how long can he truly go on this way. The roads have been thorny since the beginning, but he knew nothing else than to hold on. Because he had sacrificed enough for so many years.

The two find it hard to sleep every night and waking up more tired than ever. Once again, there’s no steam of miso soup in the atmosphere. There’s no _‘good morning’_ that sounds more like a love song to Yuto. There is no Yuto for Ryosuke and no Ryosuke for Yuto. And it’s breaking them apart. Those love songs turn into melancholy, painful melody.

 

April 1, 2018

The sun is shining dazzlingly. It’s a warm and sunny day.

The cherry blossoms greet Ryosuke in his every step, making his heart flattered a little. The blissful season he has waited for the whole year has finally come. Every time it comes around, it always feels like a new life has been born.

He is granted a day off today. And that means a perfect day for cherry blossoms viewing. He had begged Chinen a day earlier to go with him, in which he had said yes. While making his way among the crowd to get to where Chinen is, Ryosuke spots some couples posing together under the cherry blossoms. He can’t help but to smile, and feels a little envious because things aren’t going that well in his love life lately.

As he walks farther with one hand clutching on a small basket and his other hand swinging freely, he started to think about how sad it is that he can’t go for cherry blossoms viewing with Yuto. It was in his bucket list for the longest time, but he had to cancel it at the last minute.

He is sinking in questions. His mind fumbles for memories and more memories that suffocate him even more. His hand feels empty, seeking for a hand to hold it tight and entwine their fingers together. Like the old days that felt like yesterday.

 

_“If it’s not you, will it be okay? Will I be okay? Will you?”_

Ryosuke is indeed drowned too deep in his head that he doesn’t realize a voice is calling for him. It’s Yuto. What a perfect time.

He tries to break free from his train of thought, facing the reality in front of him.

“Yama-chan… You came.” Yuto tries to compose himself, looking at Ryosuke straight in the eyes.

“You too.”

Yuto inches closer, unable to look at Ryosuke anymore and instead throwing his gaze at the falling cherry blossoms.

“They’re so beautiful, aren’t they?” Yuto dares himself at last when he is just a few steps away from Ryosuke, as he takes Ryosuke by the hand and squeezes it gently.

“Yuto?”

Ryosuke is aware of stares. He looks away and shakes his hand in attempt to escape from Yuto’s grip. Yuto doesn’t flinch however, instead grasping Ryosuke’s hand tighter and what follows is something Ryosuke has never expected to hear from Yuto. Especially, not in such a place where not only their fans could be around, but paparazzi, too.

 

“Ryosuke, I love you.”

“I need much stronger word than that, but honestly I don’t know what that is.”

Yuto says, locking stare with Ryosuke and hand still grasping tight, not giving a hint of letting it loose. Then, he continues…

 

“So instead, will you marry me?”

 

Yuto says, loud and clear, making sure Ryosuke of all people hear it. Because that’s what he’s been practising over and over in front of the mirror. That’s what has created a fuss between him and Ryosuke for the past few weeks. Because Yuto was too coward to make it right and Ryosuke was too stubborn to hear any explanation. Keito was just trying to help a friend conquer his nervousness after all.

It’s as if the world has stopped rotating for mere seconds. Ryosuke feels his hand grow cold from the grip and Yuto’s gaze. Voices can be heard from every direction. Yuto takes the next step by taking Ryosuke in his arms and covers him with his scarf. He is unsure whether he’s making the matter even worse, but he only knows best that he needs to protect Ryosuke from any camera aiming at his face.

 

…

 

“ _Ryosuke…_ ”

_“I’m just a fragile human who’s trying to survive in this beautiful yet tragically short life. I want to protect you and live each year to see this same view. I want you to share your pain with me and carve our memories together. If there’s anything such as forever in our own universe, can we sail through that universe together?”_

 

;

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes ages to update..... I'm so sorry. >.<  
> Been keeping up with work and study so I'm super busy. But I was dying, like literally dying to update this cause I miss YutoYama..... Also, before the cherry blossoms season is over. I just gotta make it about the flowers. <3  
> I hope you don't mind this super late update, and THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH for ya'll who have been reading this far. You are the reason why I write. I'm very much obliged.  
> Lastly I hope you enjoy the update! Please leave a comment & suggestions are always welcomed too. <3 Those things help me to get better.  
> See you!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right now, Ryosuke and Yuto are looking at the same sky together, but will it be like this forever?
> 
> One by one, the cherry blossom wilts and leaves Yuto with a hope for an answer. Ryosuke feels the same way too. He senses insecurities in Yuto's words. He hears them, almost overwhelming. But he urges himself and encourages Yuto, “just a little more.”

 

_;_

_“Loving you is like a series of calm streams and fierce waterfalls. And I’m going down, cascading in agony.”_

Ryosuke feels as though his head is spinning out of control as Yuto’s proposal keeps repeating itself in his head. The crowd goes silent as time passes, but Yuto’s grip stays tightened, as if telling him that those arms will never let go of him again. He feels his cheeks burning; he can’t overcome his emotion and the tension around him.

_‘Did Yuto really say that?’_

_‘Am I dreaming?’_

Yuto’s arms loosen up, and seconds later he faces Ryosuke in front of him. He whispers, “Let’s go.”

Ryosuke is too perplexed to even mouth an answer. Yuto’s hand guides him along the busy crowd to the more serene pathway. Ryosuke gazes at the ground as he walks along the path adorned with sakura petals, so beautiful yet he can’t seem to be able to relish the view at the moment. His head is filled with questions as to what he’s supposed to say regarding Yuto’s proposal. It is a shock to him. Not because he’s been questioning Yuto’s feelings all these time. But it’s all just too much for him now and he almost feels overwhelmed by the fact that Yuto has gone an extra mile for him. He feels guilt forming in his stomach as he recalls how close he was from giving up a few days ago. Ryosuke desperately tries to shake the thoughts off from his head as Yuto’s grip is pulling him even closer.

Soon later, the two are greeted by Chinen. His voice is calling out to them from a distance. Ryosuke looks up and immediately spots Chinen with a mesmerizing smile on his face. He always knows what he is doing, and this time too is no surprise for Ryosuke.

Keito on the other hand, is busy taking pictures of cherry blossoms right above him and doesn’t notice the two newcomers. After taking a few snaps, he spots Yuto and Ryosuke and waves his hand cheerily at the couple.

“Looking great today, Yama-chan!” As always, Keito never fails to melt the tension right away.

Yuto squeezes Ryosuke’s hand gently as Ryosuke gazes back at him, and Yuto starts explaining the matter.

“I’m really sorry for creating such mess. It’s my fault to be such a wimp that I can’t even confess my feelings properly to you. The person that I love is you.” Yuto explains, his eyes fixed on Ryosuke’s.

“Not Keito.” Chinen adds, with a smile that can brighten even the darkest day.

The guilt that has been forming in Ryosuke’s stomach is getting unbearable. His arms are reaching out to take Yuto in them. He hugs him, and it feels like their first time after a decade of silence.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve listened…”

Ryosuke’s eyes are gleaming in happiness. They finally find their way again and all the burdens are finally lifted from their shoulders. It was a sharp tumble of a waterfall that they went through. For days and weeks, it felt like they couldn’t go on anymore, but now a new day has been unraveled. It’s a warm spring day, with an array of cherry blossoms glazing over the sky.

Keito and Chinen watch the view in front of them. Keito looks as though he is about to cry just by looking at the two embracing each other. He feels partly guilty for what happened. But at the end of the day, it perhaps meant for the best. Without that, Yuto probably wouldn’t have found the courage to propose to Ryosuke at all.

 

;

 

“Thanks for coming, guys.” Yuto says as he parts with Keito and Chinen.

They’ve spent hours catching up with each other and drinking under the cherry blossoms, and are now heading home.

“You’re welcome. It was a good time. You know, you guys need to stop fighting. It’s getting annoying.” Keito snaps. Chinen smirks beside him, perhaps thinking,  _“That should be my line.”_

“I’m sorry.” Ryosuke says as he bows and follows it with a smile.

“Well, at least it’s settled now. Count me in when you’ve decided on  _the date,_ alright?” Chinen offers a genuine smile. Yuto nods, while Ryosuke blushes slightly at the reminder. He realizes he can’t hide his blushing cheeks so he just lets his emotions be known, smiling at the tall guy beside him.

They go to different directions shortly after that, with Keito saying goodbye first for his appointment with a patient, followed by Chinen who’s got another appointment with a friend.

Yuto and Ryosuke continue walking along to the station. There are fewer people now as the sun is starting to set, but it’s getting even more beautiful as the atmosphere around them turns warm and romantic. Yuto seeks his way to hold Ryosuke’s hand and intertwine their fingers together.  

Ryosuke tries to put his words in his mind into a sentence, but he doesn’t know where to start. It suddenly feels like they’ve returned to square one. Ryosuke feels rather anxious, with Yuto’s proposal keep invading his head and turn his own words into a mess.

“Ryosuke,” Yuto says, calling Ryosuke with his first name which is something unusual for him.

“Yeah?” Ryosuke responds, keeping up with Yuto's pace.

“I’ll be waiting for your answer, until the cherry blossoms stop blooming.” Yuto motions at the view around them. Ryosuke stops in his place, captivated by the view of cherry blossoms that he was too busy to enjoy earlier today.

“Not just this season, but next season too. I’ll still wait.” Yuto adds.

“That’s romantic.” Ryosuke says, taking Yuto’s hand in his with a soft smile on his face. At that moment, all Yuto wants to do is to give Ryosuke kisses, warm kisses to let Ryosuke know how precious that smile is for him.

 

;

 

Just as expected, yesterday’s event has become today’s magazine scoop.

 _“Nakajima Yuto was seen proposing to a mysterious person under the cherry blossoms”_ The headline read. Yuto continues to read along, seems there’s very little clue left on who the other person was, and the writer of the article is only assuming and accumulating the event with Yuto’s past “relationships”.

He sighs after reading it. Seems like soon enough he will be commanded to explain some stuffs.

_“Not again. It’s enough.”_

“Nakajima-kun.” Yuto’s manager is calling out to him, and he turns around to see him with his worried face. As expected.

“Yes?” Yuto answers casually, not bother to pretend like he doesn’t know what’s coming next.

“What happened?”

“You know the story.”

His manager sighs as he takes a seat beside Yuto.

“I never thought you were serious about it.”

“I’m always serious about what I do.”

“I know… but have you thought further about your carrier?”

“I have thought it through. I’ve prepared to even lose everything I’ve worked so hard for.” Yuto rises from his seat, and bows deeply out of respect for his manager and guilt for causing him trouble over and over again.

“This time, please let me do it my way.” Yuto bows again, and his manager knows what it means. He draws a sigh before patting Yuto on the back.

“You’ve grown up.”

Yuto looks at his manager’s eyes, there are certainty and trust. Yuto has deep respect for him and considers him as his own family. From the start of his career as a child actor, his manager has always been there. When Yuto was drowned in one scandal after another, he has always been the one bowing to people beside him. Yuto’s manager knows about Yamada and Yuto’s relationship. Deep inside he wishes he could do something, but after all, the entertainment world is a cruel world where words can easily be twisted around and manipulated.

As the media started to smell something fishy going on between Yuto and Ryosuke back then, Yuto was forced to create his own scandal with a random woman only to stir things up. It hurt not only himself but also people around him, Ryosuke, his family, and his manager himself. He did not have a choice. Moreover, what about Ryosuke? It’s not only going to affect his career but also Ryosuke’s.

However, this time Yuto has some things to discuss properly with Ryosuke and the world. But first and foremost, he knows the first people he should consult with regarding his decision are his parents. He then visits his parent’s home one morning on his day off. Though only to find Raiya presents at the house.

“Mum and dad are out on vacation. They didn’t tell you about it?” Raiya says as he picks the strings of his guitar.

“No. I wonder why they didn’t, though…”

“Hmm... probably they know you’ve been busy these days?”

“Maybe.”

“What do you want to discuss about by the way?” Raiya questions him, as if able to read the expression on Yuto’s face.

“Oh, that…” Yuto mutters his words under his breath, going back and forth about how to tell Raiya his issue.

Raiya puts his guitar down and takes a seat in front of his big brother.

“I’ve told them about you and Yamada-san.” Raiya states briefly, and Yuto’s cheeks turn red at his brother’s statement.

“What did you tell them?” Yuto attempts to remain calm despite the strain that goes up in his brain, imagining his parents hearing Raiya’s story.

“I told them you love Yamada-san,” Raiya says halfway through his words, adding, “You do, don't you?”

Yuto looks at his brother deeply and can read how much care he puts in his words. He truly cares about his troublesome older brother. Meanwhile Yuto doesn’t really know how to react to that. He buries his face on the table for quite a while before facing Raiya again.

“I’m planning to get married with him…” Yuto declares, trying to put away the weight on his shoulders by letting go what he needs to let go and tell his brother properly about his big decision.

There is silence for a few moments. Raiya tries to digest the piece of information he's been given. Then he rises from his seat. 

“That’s a bold move. Cheers to that!” Raiya offers Yuto an encouraging smile. At that moment, Yuto can’t describe what he’s feeling anymore. Even if the whole world were to go against him, there is his brother with a smile on his face, letting him know he has made the right decision. Suddenly nothing else matters to him.  

 

;

 

Every day that turns into night and welcomes another morning, Yuto looks at the same view. Ryosuke’s beautiful eyelashes, his smooth skin, his adorable cheeks, his hair that always smells good and just his presence beside him that always makes him feel like the happiest man alive. He stays up at night after Ryosuke is asleep and wakes up earlier the next day just to admire the same view.

Right now, they’re looking at the same sky together, but will it be like this forever?

The rumour surprisingly goes away like wind passing through. Yuto’s fans have been reacting on social media. However, since there’s very little information as to what exactly happened, things die down gradually. Though, it’s probably only the beginning. Something big is on its way. 

One by one, the cherry blossom wilts and leaves Yuto with a hope for an answer. Ryosuke feels the same way too. He senses insecurities in Yuto’s words. He hears them, almost overwhelming. But he urges himself and encourages Yuto, “ _just a little more._ ”

He promises Yuto as the sun sets on the other side of the horizon.

 

;

 

Ryosuke feels his hands sweating from his nerves. Seconds and minutes pass, and he’s a bit worried for making Chihiro going out by herself. But he needs to talk to his sister before anyone else in his family about his plan with Yuto. He looks over at his watch again, thinking of words to say. He’s been collecting his thoughts and preparing for the worst, though he believes that Chihiro will understand his situation. Moreover, Chihiro is the only person in his family who knows about his relationship with Yuto. Ryosuke takes a deep breath and tries to assure himself that things will turn out right in the end.

From the corner of his eyes, he sees Chihiro then. She is wearing casual clothing and light make up and is walking towards him. She immediately takes a seat in front of Ryosuke and greets him like she’s nowhere near pleased to see him. But of course, it’s only a camouflage. The fact is, they haven’t seen each other in quite a while and she must have missed his little brother. 

After some more running back and forth in his mind and a few sips of his coffee, Ryosuke tells Chihiro about his plan with Yuto.

“Are you really ready for that?” It was Chihiro’s response after Ryosuke finishes his nearly stuttering explanation.

“Yes.” Ryosuke says as his mind says so. Chihiro looks at him deeper, the same stare Ryosuke got from his sister years ago when she asked who had eaten her precious ice cream she had kept for herself. The then small and innocent Ryosuke admitted of stealing his big sister’s ice cream. But just like that, she let him go because all she needed was the truth.

Now too, all Chihiro wants to hear is the truth coming out of Ryosuke’s mouth and heart. Marriage is a big thing, a huge step taken by two people to another level. It’s also about family and friends, relatives, people, everyone. It’s about a promise to stay together whatever it takes, no matter how severe the wind may shake them.

“I know this is a really big decision and we should not take it lightly. Therefore, we are not. We are serious about this.” Ryosuke convinces his sister, while the woman in front of him could only mutter in his mind,  _‘You’re still the same, Ryosuke.’_

She says to his brother finally, with her classic, elegant smile. “Give it your 100%, then.”

 

;

 

9th May 2018

It’s almost midnight as Yuto goes upstairs to Ryosuke’s home. He looks around and finds no sight of Ryosuke anywhere, so he proceeds to look for Ryosuke in his room. Yuto twists the door knob, and there, Ryosuke is half naked as he looks at Yuto in horror.

“Please knock the door before entering my room!” Ryosuke yells, covering his bottom part with a towel.

“Oh come on, I’ve seen you naked so many times before.” Yuto smirks, jumping to Ryosuke’s bed and engulfing the view in front of him. Ryosuke nearly blushes again but he shakes it off quickly, throwing his towel at Yuto.

“Talk about fact.” He snickers, offering more view than what Yuto would’ve asked.

Seriously, all Yuto wants to do right now is to jump at Ryosuke and make some sweet love right there and then. But he remembers why he is there in the first place. It’s time for a serious talk.

“You don’t seem to be in the mood…” Ryosuke trails away; putting his pants on at last and joins Yuto on the bed. He captures Yuto in a kiss and runs his fingers through Yuto’s fringe.

“Ten minutes more.” Yuto says, signaling at the clock sitting on the bedside table.

“In the end I didn’t have time to bake my own cake for my own birthday.” Ryosuke sighs, burying his head on Yuto’s neck.

“Then you can eat me tonight instead.” Yuto chuckles at his own words. Ryosuke bites him jokingly and leaves some wet kisses on Yuto’s neck. It's already too much for Yuto to handle but he struggles to survive through his words.

“Ryosuke, have you thought about your answer?” Yuto asks then, straight to the point. Ryosuke tries to remain calm when in fact his heart starts beating faster at the question.

“I have. In fact it’s been in my mind 24/7.” Ryosuke plants a kiss on Yuto’s cheek, and stares at him afterwards. A stare that bears a thousand questions, but Yuto can’t help to break it as he pushes Ryosuke down to tear him apart in a messy kiss.

 _“You’re in my mind 24/7 too.”_  Yuto whispers in between kisses, wrapping his arms around Ryosuke’s body.

 _“Then?”_ Ryosuke snuggles even closer, challenging the lust that’s been invading their senses.

“Then… Happy birthday sweetheart. Let’s get married.”

The words sound like a melody to Ryosuke’s ears.

“Those two phrases don’t go together.” Ryosuke pretended to be amused. He can’t process what’s in his head anymore. He looks at Yuto deeply, sending him the rest of phrases that he can't bring to say. Leaving him with the most important one,

"Let’s get married.”

 

;

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm back with update!  
> Sorry this took longer than expected. It was supposed to be Yama-chan's birthday fic but I ruined it. >.<  
> Nah, actually I'm just back from exam... >.< I sincerely hope this chapter will pay off the long wait. It's far from perfect but I'm trying.....  
> I'm so excited for wedding??? Is anyone as excited as I am?? Spill your excitement in the comment please!!!


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